Soldiering, mice and sleepless nights

I have not been at the computer much, lately. Have you noticed?

My father has been to the hospital twice in as many weeks, and continues the steady decline in health. He is now hooked up to oxygen 24-7, which means no more smoking in the house which means 1)I look like an asshole still smoking, period and 2)I'm really angry all the time because I have to go out in my jammies and scare the neighbors to smoke. Which I do constantly, because I'm stressed out. Hooray.

I (in a wild fit of brilliance!) Rearranged my work schedule so that I can drive my father to and from the kidney center, not realizing that I now have no free time whatsoever. Like, less than zero. Sigh.

Oh, and dad? By the way, if you could remember a few things for me that would be great. Post-its, something.

1)If you have a doctors appointment somewhere other than our house, please let me know more than 4 hours beforehand.

2)If you are being raced to the hospital via ambulance, and the nurses ask you if they can call your daughter, only tell them "I already did" if you have, in fact, done so. Telling them that you did, when actually you were humming the tune to Gilligans Island and wondering why the hell you are going to the hospital will result in your youngest progeny having a small nervous breakdown at her work and threatening one of the nurses with physical harm and/or legal action for your fuck up.

3)I love you. Really. I know we don't say that to eachother, ever, but I do, and it scares me to no end to see you so frail.

I have not been sleeping. I should be sleeping now, as I have to work tomorrow. Today. Sigh.

We have/had mice! Fuckity shit! We got rid of them thusly:

Mouse #1:

Realize there is a mouse in room.

tell T there is mouse in room.

watch T tear room apart while in underpants to find mouse.

Watch T find mouse, leap into air.

Open door to frantically smoke cigarette in pajamas.

T scares mouse outside.

Go back inside and shut door, leaving T out on stairwell in underpants with mouse.

Mouse weighs options, leaps off balcony from 2 stories up.

Mouse #2:

Next day. Dramatic steps have been taken to convince mice to leave premesis. If they have not listened, they die.

Fall blissfully asleep.

Awaken to T turning on all lights and tearing room apart while in underpants looking for mouse.

Fall blissfully asleep.

Awaken to T turning on all lights and tearing room apart while in underpants.

Fall blissfully asleep.

Awaken to T setting mousetrap.

Sit in darkness, watching T stare at spot where mousetrap is, out in darkness.

Hear SNAP of mousetrap, watch T dispose of dead mouse outside, while in underpants.

Mouse #3:
Day three. This mouse is smart, and has eaten all bait left in traps. Final mouse in house.

Rearrange traps.

Put trap next to father in kitchen. Warn him of traps presence.

Hear SNAP of trap, loud swearing from father.

Mouse in trap, but not dead. T is wearing pants this time.

Father gets oxygen tubing wrapped around now dead mouse in trap, more swearing.

Tell T to remove pants, as that seems to help the process.

T untangles father, disposes of mouse.

The end.