New Year....

Happy end of 2008, kids.

All told, 2008 was not a bad year. Sure, bad shit went down, (but this is me we're talking about here, what do you expect?) but all in all, not bad.

2009, however, better rock my damn socks or I am going to have words for the universe.

I am getting married in less than 7 months. I found a photographer I love, and I am hoping, fingers crossed, that they are 1)reasonably affordable 2)not assclowns 3)available.

Currently, I am sitting on the couch in my bathrobe, my nose threatening to tear itself off my face in order to get a better angle for bringing the pain to me. Stuffed up, wiped raw, forcing sneezes out of me (when there isn't just the huge sneeze lead up and then.....nothing. I HATE THAT.) and making sleep all but impossible.

After openly weeping in my kitchen yesterday morning from face pain and sleep deprivation, I made J go to the store to get me some Night-time liquid cold medicine. Which I then took a long pull off of and passed out. Slept for 11 hours, and felt much, much better for it. I plan on doing the same thing again tonight. (Because nothing says "Happy New Year!" like an over-the-counter-induced coma, right?)

T has to work tonight, so he will be ringing in the new year all alone, standing in the kiln control room, hating his coworkers.

Anyway, it doesn't seem like a holiday today. All I know is that I'm looking forward to messing up my deposit slips at the bank for the next three months. (I wrote 12/31/2007 on one today....I better get my shit together.)

Well, happy new year, readers. May 2009 be happy and prosperous to us all.

In Lieu of Christmas

How to play:

* Answer each of the questions below.
* Surf over to Flickr and type your answers (one at a time) into the search bar.
* From the choice of pictures shown only on the front page, click the one that moves you
* Once the page with your picture opens, copy the URL.
* Surf over to the Mosaic Maker, set up your mosaic, and paste in your URLs.
* Click “Create!”
* Save the image, upload it to your favorite picture site (if it’s not Flickr), and blog away.


The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. Where would you go on your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name?

Holiday

If given the opportunity, I would gladly, at this moment, punch whoever made the executive decision to NOT PLOW the city directly in the face.

This city has 11 plows. Nine of them are at the airport. NOTHING is plowed, the roads are horrible, and people are morons.

This is a city that is not ok with snow, and they are acting like it.

I have photos, but I'm not uploading until I get home. Currently I am using the slowest laptop on the planet, which belongs to T's oldest brothers girlfriend, while sitting alone in the family house. Well, the cats are here, but I don't know that that counts.

Anyway, have a Merry Christmas. Be safe, be warm, and punch a road crew executive in the face for me.

Save the Driveway

We spent all day yesterday shoveling the driveway. (read: All day=About 2 hours in screaming wind and really cold temperatures)

Shortly after we finished, it started snowing again. Thanks, nature.

I have photos of the hilarity-T using a drain spout cover (you know, the things you put under your gutter drain to make the water a river out into the yard rather than a driving drill like stream?) to move the majority of the snow, the wind hurling large clumps of snow back upon us, T intentionally hitting his baby brother J in the back with five pound clods of snow.

Oh, did I mention that we were all in our jammies with snow boots and hats on while doing this? Only the highest of class over here.

Anyway, the boys are out shoveling again. It's warmed up considerably, making the task easier in that the snow isn't adhered to the concrete by a layer of ice, but harder because now the snow weighs three times as much.

Being that T explodes every time he sees me do anything that could start to be considered physical labor, I am sitting in the house, drinking coffee, blogging and watching Anthony Bourdain. There are worse things.

**************************************************

No one in our house has been sleeping well. T keeps falling victim to the sore ear--the cause of which is sleeping on your side at a weird angle. I have been falling victim to sleeping in weird angles at all times, making my arms fall asleep, my shoulders hurt, my neck hurt, and, most of all, my hips hurt.

I wake up angry and limping toward the coffee pot, reaching for a tylenol back. (Yes, I eat something with the tylenol. I promise. Pills on an empty stomach nearly killed my mommy(well, hers wasn't just empty, but void of anything non-liquid if you catch my meaning) so know better. Promise.)

It doesn't make for a happy household, A cranky from waking up every two hours for no reason, T clutching his ear and demanding answers from the pillow, me staggering around with creaking joints.

It also doesn't help that no one has left the house for days. Like, at all.

Hopefully that will change today. Hopefully the weather is DONE.

Oh, and Brian? It has snowed every year that I have been back here. (Three.) I think it snowed maybe five times here when I was a child? Yeah. (I'm sure it was more than that, but definitely not every year.)

Sigh.

Over It.

An open letter to the weather:

Dear Current Winter Weather;

In response to your latest behavioral analysis report, it has come to the attention of the residents of this particular branch of the country that you are showing signs of emotional trauma and duress.

Obviously, the best course of action we can recommend is a leave of absence, with a long rest and a reexamination of your actions as well as your motivation.

Being that you have decided to send weather typical of the mid-west and north east to us, a region known for our mild weather and gentle climes, as well as cause blizzard conditions along several hundred (at least) miles of coast line, (which is complete insanity--I mean, really? This is not the North East. Snow on the beach just doesn't happen here, let alone a blizzard.) malcontent, bordering on insanity would be our typical diagnosis.

If you do not rescind your current proposal for the week ahead, as well as have a great change in current behavior, we will have no choice to terminate you immediately.

Thank you for your time and consideration;

The Pacific North West. (And bordering land locked states)

************************************

Dudes--this isn't cool. I have never, ever seen weather like this here--we have snow drifts. (I know that isn't a big deal in most other parts of the country....) It should be too wet, too humid here, to facilitate dry powder snow (skiing, anyone?) which can then be whipped and whirled into drifts all over the place.

The metropolis (and it's sister city) south of here is closed. Like, all roads, all businesses. Today, both those cities, as well as everything else in the area (my house, the other metropolis, and everything in between) is projected to be buried in ice, and then dumped on by snow. For the entire week. (At least. I'm afraid of the 10 day forecast.)

Some photos?



This is our back yard last night about 11pm. It's hard to see, but what you're seeing is a snow drift up against the corner of our deck.



And here it is this morning.



And again.

This doesn't seem so bad to those of you who live in places where snow is normal, I know this.

But here? It's amazing. (And shitty.)

Whatever, we're holed up and warm, we have food and blankets and heat. (For the time being, anyway. They are forecasting that the ice storm may knock out power for 'an indeterminate amount of time', especially south of here.

Whatever. What can you do but roll with it? Exactly.

Responsorial....

Alright. I have received several emails (C? Looking at you!), phone calls (Mom) and comments (Brian) informing me that our 'winter' is a joke compared to what these storm fronts are doing in the rest of the northern hemisphere. (I know this. I lived somewhere with nasty, horrible snow-laden winters. This is nothing.)

I also know that these storm fronts that are causing our community to collapse in heap of school closures, car filled ditches, falls, accidents and other calamity are then happily heading east and causing real weather problems. C told me that our storm fronts are attacking the state she lives in wholeheartedly, my mom (who lives further north) has frozen pipes and cracked windows and a car that will not start. Brian, per his comment, is expected to get 6 more inches. (Which, to those of us/you that deal/have dealt with snow on a regular basis isn't shit....if it only happens once. If you get 6 inches a day for a week you have a problem....I'm rambling.)

Anyway.....It's still snowing here. And it's dry! It's weird.

Prepare yourselves, the rest of the Northern US. It's not supposed to lay off for at least a week out here.

But I do wish that the other citizens of this fine land would get a freaking clue about how to drive in the snow. Ugh.

The White Death

It's still snowing.

Without cease.

I don't love it. I woke up this morning, it's snowing. Went to bed last night? Snowing.

And all this after I really tried to convey to Circe that this part of the country is a 'weather free zone'. Nature says: Pants on Fire.



I will have you all notice the color of the sky in this photo. (Yes, I took it though the sliding glass door in the dining room....sorry....)

This photo was taken at 9:30am. Ominous skies, that. Ugh.

So, being that it is/was cold and snowing and very cranky-making, I did what any self respecting human would. I made stew (and used up all the meat that was threatening to become freezer burned, which is good, but now the freezer is a waste land.) and hot chocolate.

And knit. And knit and knit and knit and knit and knit and knit some more.

I have knit myself into nerve damage. The way I hold my knitting needles rests on a part of my finger that seems to have a nerve close to the skin. The entire tip of that finger is essentially numb now....But I have lots more knitting to do. So...I improvised.



Medical tape. With grimy edges. Sigh. Such glamor. (The ring I'm wearing? T gave me that for my 16th birthday. Isn't that gross and hilarious?) But it works--I have worn a groove into it where the needle rests, but I can feel my finger tip again.

Photos, some other crap

Yeah. I got nothin'. Nothing really important, anyway. Lots of knitting, lots of traveling, lots of really cold weather. Oh, and snow.

That's right. It snowed. It will continue to snow. I don't love it.




Still basically looks like that outside. More ice now, less snow on the road. That's it. Sigh.

Finished another pair of socks, and have sent them off with their rightful recipient, my friend E's lady, G. She was thrilled, which surprised and delighted me. She seemed more tickled that I had invested my own time and effort to create something for her than the fact that I had given her a gift. It made me feel really good.



Went to the city last weekend to meet with the wedding DJ, (done and booked, thank you very much) and finalize the bridesmaid apparel, as well as decorate T's sister and her husband's Christmas tree and eat our body weight in Moroccan food. (it was, to say the least, amazingly delicious. There were belly dancers, and I managed to drink a beer (or two! Livin' large!) and let slip that I, too, know how to belly dance and used to do so in public, like, for money and stuff. Looong time ago. (Five or six years) No, I won't show you. No, T, I won't wear the outfit.)



Here is the beautiful A showing her little brother who is boss in front of the tree.



There is another photo in this set where T is doing the robot and I am laughing my ass off. If it weren't so blurry I might post it. It looks mostly like I'm shaking my whole body while T spanks me.

I'm running out of stuff, kids. Sorry. More soon, I promise. T is starting his 'mandatory vacation' (or, as the realists call it, '10 day minimum company wide lay off) at the end of this week, so I'm sure there will be many shenanigans. Plus we have another meeting with My Biggest Fan*, the deacon of the church, for our marriage prep.....

*Total, complete, utter sarcasm.

Stolen

My life is boring lately. I knitted for like, 9 hours yesterday. (you think I'm kidding.) God Bless Christmas....

Anyway, I stole this from Brian. (Brian, I am thinking of you and wishing you and your sons great luck today.)

Bold the items you have done, add comments as you see fit.

1. Started your own blog. This is not the first.
2. Slept under the stars. Guilty. I don't love camping, however. Like, at all.
3. Played in a band. High School band in all it's forms. (Concert, Pep, Jazz, symphonic) I rocked the bass clarinet, baby!
4. Visited Hawaii. Too much time on a plane.
5. Watched a meteor shower. Yes, but I couldn't tell you a damn thing about them. That's T's department.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. No. Maybe that makes me a bad person.
7. Been to Disneyland. I have no desire at all to do anything involving Disney. Sounds like my personal hell.
8. Climbed a mountain. Not like, Everest or anything. (I lived pretty close to to top of a mountain at the time as well, that helped)
9. Held a praying mantis. No, I'm good, thanks.
10. Sang a solo. Just in my kitchen. I leave the singing to T. (Who is damn good and has sung multiple solos in his life)
11. Bungee jumped. Under no circumstance.
12. Visited Paris: Paris Las Vegas.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. I have spent a lot of time on a boat in my life.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Nope.
15. Adopted a child. No, but I would in a millisecond if I could. (Just not at the moment.)
16. Had food poisoning. That's a fresh hell I wish on no one.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Never been to New York, never seen it in person, nothing.
18. Grown your own vegetables. Not in the last few years.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.Nope.
20. Slept on an overnight train. More than once.
21. Had a pillow fight. Don't ask.
22. Hitch hiked. Nah.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. Show me one person who isn't guilty of this.
24. Built a snow fort. No. And I lived in some damn snowy places too.
25. Held a lamb. Nope.
26. Gone skinny dipping. Sigh.
27. Run a Marathon. That's just funny.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice. I watched the gondolas in the Venetian in Vegas....
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise. No way.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person. Never been to the east coast at all.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. Someday.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. I taught myself the gibberish language my peers were speaking around me all the time in the 6th grade.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Stressing about money is my favorite thing.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing. And I have pictures to prove it.
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.
41. Sung karaoke. Never into the microphone.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. I can't swim. I'm serious. T can't really either.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business. I watched my parents do that.....
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.No. But I have eaten a few freaking million of these.
62. Gone whale watching. Never needed to. Seen tons and tons of whales both here and in Alaska.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. Don't poke me. Thanks.
65. Gone sky diving. I don't even want to think about it.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp. I actually would like to. I think it's important that the world not forget the most atrocious and shameful moments in history lest they happen again.
67. Bounced a check. Hopefully never again.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. I am the worst motorcycle passenger ever. Seriously.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. It really is amazing.
80. Published a book. No. But sooner rather than later.
81. Visited the Vatican. I will leave that to my in laws.
82. Bought a brand new car. No!
83. Walked in Jerusalem. On the list.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper. Indeed.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Never killed. Just prepared. Oh, have I prepared. (It smells, btw.)
88. Had chickenpox. Twice. Seriously.
89. Saved someone’s life. My stepdad maintained that I saved his life once. Then he died six months later. I don't think it counts.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous. KD Lang, The Presidents of The United States of America, the band Train...
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby. Nope.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake. I have never been to Utah.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee. And then it's off to the hospital.
100. Read an entire book in one day. I do this a lot.

Worth It

Ok, my friends, I have forced this on some of you in the past, but if I haven't....

You really, really need to read this. Really. It's on the long-ish side, but oh, so worth it. The hilarity.

It shouldn't take you more than 5ish minutes to read it.

Please, read it. And report back your feelings, I miss my comments. (Hint.)

Christmas Stress

So I suck at blogging lately.

I'm sure you are all sobbing into your pillows each night, wondering what I am doing, and how dare I be so cruel as to not update you more regularly with the random bullshit happenings in my life.

So here's a dose for you.

Went to the metropolis on Friday and stayed with T's sister A and her husband in preparation of the purchase of my wedding dress. (My wallet moans in despair at the mere mention of this.) The appointment was on Saturday, so we had all of Friday to waste.

So we wasted it by eating unholy amounts of sushi and drinking at dive bars, which is just what the doctor ordered as far as I'm concerned. (T was rather sad that he had to work and had to miss it. Granted, he treats the idea of seeing my wedding dress like seeing Medusa herself, so I am sure that he would have spent Saturday morning drinking coffee in his pajamas and watching UFC with A's husband. Again, there are worse things.)

We went to 'I Love Sushi', a restaurant that really didn't spend a ton of time in thinking of a name, being that most people who eat sushi on a regular basis love it, or at least like it well enough.

We ate. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. And it was good.

We then began our dive bar crawl, which involved rum and diets that were nearly clear (The cola made the whole mix look like watered down scotch there was so little of it) and ended in us crashing a 60th birthday party and singing karaoke. (The oldest brother in T's clan, along with his girlfriend, host karaoke. We often crash their functions and a good time is had by all.)(And A and her husband knew the birthday celebrant, so we weren't REALLY crashing it....right?)

The bar we finished at, which was more a Chinese restaurant than a bar, per se (there was a bar there....), well, when we pulled in, I thought it was a derelict gas station. That should tell you something.

The owner/bartender/dude who seemed to be in charge that night let us smoke inside (!!) and we ended the evening with a family rendition of 'Blue Christmas'.

And T's oldest brother couldn't remember my name. Which I think is far more hilarious than it should be.

Anyway, so we closed down the bar and went home and to bed, only to get up a very few short hours later to go get the dress crap taken care of.

The dress sales person helper bunny lady (who rocks, btw) told me I was one of the easiest brides she had ever worked with because my response to a lot of her questions and queries was, 'I don't care, what does everyone else think?'. It would seem that a lot of brides are not so open to the idea that they may not know what the hell is going on in regards to things like dress fittings (not being a seamstress or fashionista)....but I'm weird.

Anyway, dress has been paid for (ACK) and is currently being made (ACK) to my specifications, and will be in my clutches in April. Then I will get it fitted to my luscious body (ha!) and we're good to go.

So I have until April to make sure that the measurements that were taken (UUUGH) on Saturday are no good when the dress arrives. So there.

Stairmaster, here I come.

*******************************

Also, and I am only bringing this up to annoy T when he reads this, I have completed his Christmas shopping, and he is going to pee his pants when he sees what I got him.

Email me, and I will tell you, if you're interested.

Photo Heavy, Misadventures in Homeownership, Also, a Train Wreck

First off, the wreck that is the train.

Sigh.

There are lots of people in this world that I care strongly for, be they friends or family or otherwise, the 'inner sanctum', if you will, and when I see them doing things that are terrible, horrible ideas, well...I want to stop them. I want to stand in front of them and make them understand that the world is a rosy shade at the moment not because of how 'blissful' life is right now, but from the glare of red flags fluttering all around them.

But I can't.

Mistakes have to be made--it's part of growing up. It's part of becoming a person who can dispense advice later in life, it's how you get yourself a 'frame of reference', if you will.

This mistake that is being made, it's not going to end fatally. (I would intercede then, of course.) It is, however, not going to end well. No one thinks, aside from the parties involved (and then I am only sure about one of them)that this is a good idea.

It just kills me to have to stand by and watch this happen. It's as though I am standing on a train platform, watching two huge trains barrel down on each other, and the 'all stop' button is right in front of me, yet I don't have the pass code, or arms, or something is keeping me from stopping the carnage that I know is about to unfold in front of me.

I'm sorry to be so vague. And no one who reads this blog is involved in this drama of sorts, just to make the one of you who is wondering feel better. :)

*********************

So our Thanksgiving was surrounded by plumbing problems. I am not proficient in solving plumbing problems as my knowledge stops somewhere after 'Water makes things wet' and 'Some things aren't supposed to be wet and they are now'.

Enter T and A (Am I the only one laughing? All any problem needs is a little T and A! Sigh. I really need to come up with a better way of making people distinguishable as well as anonymous. Not to mention that I have a friend A the bowler, T has a sister A, and now we have a roomie/my long time friend A, who is the A in question.) Anyway, they are mens and they have more knowledge of plumbing than I do.

First problem? My house. The gaskety valve thing where the water pipe comes out of the wall and into the bendy hose that goes into the toilet tank (See? Not proficient.) sprung a leak, and no one being home, promptly started leaking through the floor of the bathroom and into the carport below. (It could have leaked into the storage units or something, which would have rocked not at all.)




This is the damage to the top of the carport. The holes are where T touched it to see how damp it was and was met with negative resistance.

And so up to the bathroom with the phone booth shower went we, and promptly smashed three full sized adults into a tiny bathroom to try and diagnose the problem. (I was moral support. A held the tools. T climbed back there.) We then went to Home Creepo, where we obtained a new gaskety valve thing and applied it.






(For those that care, the new valve thingie is on the lid of the toilet in this pic.)

New part applied, the leak stopped. There was minimal rejoicing, and we went and did all the shopping for Thanksgiving, as the next day was to be my 'prep' day, where I did all the chopping, mincing, grating, baking and every other possible thing that I could assemble ahead of time so that I didn't have to get up at three in the morning on Thanksgiving day. (In the culinary world, this is called Mise en Place. See? I'm not totally stupid. We refer to it as 'The french way of saying "Getting your shit together"')

In the middle of all my slicing, dicing and sweating, I plugged the garbage disposal. There was a lot of swearing on my part, and a lot of resigned knowledge that he would be climbing again into a small space to get wet by T.



I'm sure he's thrilled to be posted on the internet at that angle. And please ignore the complete disaster that surrounds him. A hurricane of angry badgers did not, in fact, trudge through my kitchen that day.

Anyway, immediately following the repair of the disposal, the toilet clogged. I didn't take pictures of that.

Suffice to say, T is over plumbing as a whole. And I don't blame him one bit.

************************

As we took zero pictures on Thanksgiving, I will supplement my post with other random crap that I have photographed in the past few months.

First off, T as Freddy Mercury on Halloween:



Again, I'm sure he's thrilled I put that up. There are better ones where you can see him sporting the white women's jeans, but I should save that for another day.

Also, I knitted and finished, with minimal emotional duress, T's socks.



I am modeling them here, and they are too big for me. (I'm sure you couldn't have figured that out from the glowing white skin and there not being a male italian level of hair displayed as well. Also, the Dragon ball crap in the background SO belongs to T's brother J.)

Anyway, T loves them and refuses to take them off, so I guess that's a stamp of approval.

All current knitting will not be photographed until after Christmas. So you can all sleep better knowing that, at least.

Anyway......I'm done.

I am a terrible blogger!

We didn't have internet for days and days, and then Thanksgiving happened, and with that came a rash of plumbing problems (I have photos of two of them! How thrilling my life is!) and company came....

You know how it goes.

But all is well, Thanksgiving rocked (I know! My sister came! Such margin for horror and terror!) and things are slowly and surely getting back to normal.

I promise, promise, promise to be back on my game here shortly.

Thanks for still checking in, though, kiddies.

When In Doubt

Steal shit from Brian. It's what we do, after all.

TMI Tuesdays:

1. When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight?

Uhm...A few days ago. T was sleeping and I was trying to not walk face first into the bathroom door frame.

2. On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked?

Not. I hate to be naked. (But T seems to be ok with it, and that kinda rubs off on me a little.)

3. What is the longest you've ever been celibate after having lost your virginity?
A while.

4. Have you ever had sex in a car?

And my back has never forgiven me for it.

If yes, since you were a teenager? I couldn't walk properly for three days, my back was so messed up.

5. When did you last use food or drink as medication?

More often than I like to admit. At least with food, I really don't drink that much.

Bonus: Name three words that:
a) get you excited – Vacation
b) make you squirm – Dentist
c) make you laugh – For-EV-ERR. Inside joke.


Not TMI thingie.

10 YEARS AGO I...
1. Had been living in a new state for one week.
2. Hated T with a white hot passion
3. Had a 26 inch waist
4. Experienced wind chill for the first time
5. Went from one of the smallest High Schools in this state to the biggest one in the new state. I was not. Happy.

5 THINGS ON TODAY'S TO-DO LIST
1. Clean the rest of the carpets
2. Talk seriously about painting the inside of the house
3. Cook something worth eating
4. Finish the laundry
5. Not stay up until three am.

5 THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A MILLIONAIRE
1. Not freak out about money as often
2. Fix the house
3. Get T a new car and get a truck for us to share
4. Get medicine to make myself able to fly without exploding
5. Travel.

5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED
1. College dorms
2. My dad's condo
3. This house
4. The trailer
5. The house with no railings on the stairs

5 JOBS I'VE HAD
1. Gas station cashier (three times, I've had and hated that job)
2. Library page
3. Assistant pastry chef
4. Server/bartender
5. business manager
I'll tag :
Everyone I know. Do it.

(And Brian, as a token of my thanks for 'letting' me steal these from you, I can send off my world famous family secret recipe for leg of lamb if you're interested. But smoking it sounds pretty dang interesting too. Mine involves coffee, and real macaroni and cheese.)

Optimus Prime David

So new roomie and I have spent the entire day making up insane names for my future children.

T has a reasonably normal last name, phonetically spelled (which thrills me to no end, as I have the opposite of that) and common enough to not be mangled, yet not so common as to fall into the "Smith" category. It works well with what we have come up with.

Mainly, and what those of you who don't know the shenanigans that are involved with my sense of humor and those around me, is that the more absurd the topic, the better.

For instance, and in a totally different vein, but too hilarious to leave untouched, Roomie A and I were discussing how some people are far, far louder during 'marital relations' than is necessary. (Screamers and the like.) We were talking about a friend of ours, who, after meeting his now fiancee but then girlfriend would spend DAYS (Literally. Days. Stopping only for potty and food breaks. We wonder how they stayed hydrated enough) in coitus. (I suppose there are worse ways to waste a weekend, but...) Anyway, this friend of ours was living with A at the time, and his girlfriend was a SCREAMER. Like, no one on the block slept the entire time she was there because she was screaming herself hoarse while screwing our friend. A could not sleep during her visits for all the shrill howling that emanated from our friends room.

We were talking, then, about how some people are like that in the bedroom and others are not. How you are able to convey the necessary information without such things as a bullhorn, a PA system, or screaming at the top of your lungs.

A then said to me, "I know! It's just sex! I'm not MC-ing a Monster truck rally!" And I proceeded to laugh for about three days over this. (Mostly I inserted such gems as "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!" and "WELCOME, MONSTER TRUCK FANS!" into sexual congress. I don't care who you are, that's funny.)

Anyway, on to the baby names.

I mentioned to A that T and I have named our non-existent children, because we're "cool" and I believe in over-preparedness. Rather than ask what the names were, A volunteered one. "Optimus Prime David", for our first born son, of course. T then had to get in on the action, and here is what the three of us have come up with:

-Optimus Prime David
-Forklift Winnebago
-Dump truck Kama Sutra
-Flytrap Cthulu
-Athletes Foot Donatello
-Exclamation Point Borat
-Snorkel Chop Stick (a current favorite)
-Porcupine Ferris Wheel
-Toboggan Steam Shovel
-Scapula Brake Pad
-Xenophobia Clandestine

And then I realized that these were deteriorating quickly into bad '70s band names (Vanilla Fudge, anyone?) and not as functional as names for our children.

And then we started with business names, things like, oh, "Mentholated Speed bump Computers" and the like.

I think we all need hobbies. But at least we are laughing our asses off.

See you all tomorrow, on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY, where OPTIMUS PRIME DAVID will take on the FLAME THROWING CAR EATING DINOSAUR ROBOT!! ONE DAY ONLY!!

Done like dinner

There are few things in my life that are guaranteed to piss me the fuck off quicker than being lied to, deceived in any way, or manipulated.

Or at least being made to feel like any of those are happening.

And it's happening right now.

Maybe I had the wrong impression as to what was going on, at least in this particular instance. It happens from time to time, you know. No one being perfect and all that crap.

But seriously? I just wish the planet would grow a set of balls and act it's age. I'm really, really tired of life being more complicated than it needs to be, and yes, I have contributed to that happening as well.

However. We are adults now, and should act accordingly. Mayhap people delude themselves into telling others the 'truth' as they wish it were, rather than the actual truth. Mayhap people are trying to spare the feelings of those close to them, I am more than guilty of doing that from time to time.

But if someone is truly important to you, you tell them the truth, in all things, no matter what may happen. T and I have told each other the truth about things that could have, and should have, shattered our relationship were it any less strong than it is. We have weathered some serious storms together, seen some of the worst that life can bring, but we did it together. If we had hidden any of our feelings about some of those things, had hidden actions we had taken part in that weren't our best, sure, our relationship wouldn't have been impacted....Immediately.

But I refuse to take part in a relationship that is founded on lies and deception. I am not blogging to extol the virtues of T's and my relationship--this blog doesn't even really have anything to do with T, I'm merely using it as an example.

Mostly I'm just tired. I had a shitty day today, as sleeping too late usually warrants. I have no patience today which is making me extra unforgiving. I cut the crap out of my finger a few days ago with the serrated edge on the saran wrap box, and, being unable to function fully with a bandaid on, superglued it closed. This worked until this evening when I took a shower, thereby loosening the glue, which enabled me to tear the entire wound open again by getting the edge of the glue caught on the towel I was using. 'Pain' doesn't really describe what that felt like.

I am a mere 7 thousand words behind in NaNo, and at midnight that will rocket up to nearly 9 thousand words behind. I am holding out little hope of completing this task in a timely fashion. And I'm ok with that.

The job front is bleak.

My sisters, as I have said again and again ad nauseum, are terrible people. This doesn't change, yet for some reason I am always surprised by this.

My mother had a small nervous breakdown over NOTHING, and in response she disappeared for three days. This is the sort of behavior that were I to take part in, she would drive out here and beat my ass, but when she does it, it is 'Saintly'. Also, since she has returned, she has taken to drinking heavily all freakin' day, which I just adore. I know that my not calling her DAILY is factoring into this, as well as the fact that a holiday is looming. She cannot fathom my desire to have a holiday wherein there was no drunken hysteria, no fighting, no name calling or screaming or crying. Can't remember ever having had one of those.

I really wish that T and I could just take off for his days off this week. I wish that we had unlimited money in the bank and could go somewhere relaxing where someone will do all the cooking and cleaning, pay all the bills, and massage us as often as we liked.

Whatever. I mean, really. You just slog through life and try your best to make things the best they can be.

But I'm just tired. I'm tired of stressing about my wedding, the planning for which has stymied, I'm tired of worrying about Thanksgiving and what a pain in the ass that is going to be, I'm tired of paying bills and writing and blogging and talking and eating and sleeping bad hours. I am tired.

So I am going to bed. No fun, funny or uplifting shit here today, kids. Sorry.

Gaaaah...

I don't want to do a damn thing these days! I am tempted to blame the boring, dreary weather we are having. (It would seem that I have forgotten what month it is and where I live...) But it is grey and raining, all the damn time. I awoke today to the gutters overflowing QUITE loudly on the deck. It is no lighter outside at noon than at 8am than at 4pm. And then it's night time.

Means that I accidentally sleep weird long hours and/or spend what hours I am conscious eating, cooking and knitting. None of which add to my NaNo count, get my house clean, laundry done, or shopping done.

I am addicted to Feb*reze candles, especially in the "Evergreens and Snow" stink. I am not a 'tree' smell addict my nature, but this makes my house smell less like dirty socks (I am so ready for that fucker to move out) and more like....Christmas.

And I am a woman that don't love Christmas. But it would seem I like the smell.

Look Away Now

Friends and family.

It's TMI time. (This one really isn't that bad. I don't love the 'all sex, all the time' ones. No ones business, really.)

1. Ever been skinny dipping?
Yes. And my pasty white ass glows in the dark, thanks.
2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?
Lots, actually.
3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Do you think 'content' and 'happy' the same thing?
Hrm. I'm about, oh, a 6? Content is not happy is not content. Content is like purgatory, it's not so bad, but it's not so great, but you're ok. Happy is pleased each day to be where you are, thrilled with your blessings.
4. What do you do to relieve stress?
Sleep. Smoke. (I know, I know) Yell at everyone in my house about nothing.
5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were "the one?"
So gross, kids. My first lover? T. He really was the 'one', but I sure as shit didn't know it then. I don't know why, really, we decided to do the do back then. We were at an age where it was 'the thing to do', and well, why not? We loved each other, but it was puppy love and sorta silly. Worked out for us, though. Plus he was (and is) so darn handsome! (It was the love thing. Seriously, that's why we did it.)
Bonus: How old were you when you first had sex? (positive experiences here...) 16. (Now that I know 16 year olds as an adult, that seems WAY TO YOUNG to be having sex. Sigh.)

I'm up to 12,911 words in NaNo. I'm a scant 8 thousand words behind. Sigh.

T's sister is making everyone look bad!! She's up to like, 32,000 words already. Oh well, she is to be commended for her abilities.

And Brian? I got the bruise in my mouth because I treat tooth brushing like a full contact sport from time to time. I am sure that if it came from anything 'else', my mouth being sore would be the least of our problems.

Waiting patiently for the shit to hit the fan with my sisters. There have been some developments. Thanksgiving could be very interesting this year.

But I Don't Wanna

I am procrastinating in the single worst way possible.

I need to write for NaNo, (Still behind, woefully so) I need to type up my resume...AGAIN, since it would seem that when a certain roomie who is on his way out reformatted the computer he deleted the program under which the majority of my stuff was written, like, oh, MY FUCKING RESUME....I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with the inside of my mouth (I banged it with my toothbrush or something, the roof in the back feels bruised or something. I have managed to convince myself that I have some weird disease, or cancer, or something that will melt my face when I least expect it...

I need to draft an email wherein I remain civil with my siblings regarding my dad's estate.

What have I done instead? Well, when I should have started the above stuff, we watched a movie. (Sunshine. It was crap.) Then we drank coffee and laughed for a while. Then I wandered around My*space. And read. Then I watched T and A play video games. Then I stared at the floor for a while, and knit.

Now I am blogging. (Are we sensing a theme?)

The resume should be at the top of the list, but having it DONE ALREADY and NOT BE ABLE TO GET TO THE DAMN THING NOT EVEN AS A FUCKING REFERENCE has made me sort of discouraged and mad.

So there's that.

Ugh. I hate, hate, hate looking for a job. HATE it. I always feel so freaking inferior and under qualified. Writing down everything I have done in my 26 years on the planet and seeing that it amounts to precisely Jack and Shit as far as prospective employers are concerned.

Hoo-rah

Several things of note:

I am up to 10,000 words on Nano, placing me a mere 3 thousand words behind my target. Awesome.

T got another (!) promotion, making me the proudest wife to be in the county.

The shitty roomie is on his way out--the new, shiny, I-have-known-this-person-for-10-years-and-he-is-an-adult-thank-the-dear-sweet-lord-above roomie arrived on Monday, making me the happiest of campers. (Not only is it nice to have a home filled with mature adults, I don't see this friend all that often, so it's nice to see him.)

Mill*stone coffee brand makes a blend called 'foglifter', which not only tastes delicious, it is so ramped with caffeine that you can feel your organs vibrate after three cups. This is saying something, coming from me. (My buddy, A {the bowler} is also a bona fide coffee addict, and it gave him 'A Clockwork Orange' eyeballs as well.) It do lift the fog. (I just had three cups and it's 1am. Ah, Nano, how you make me weep.)

New roomie, (Whose name starts with A, I will have to find a new way of talking about him) he cooks! Which means that I don't have to. Let me say that again:

I DON'T HAVE TO DO ALL THE COOKING ANY MORE.

We have eaten home cooked deliciousness all week, and I only cooked half the time.

It makes my soul smile, really.

Say some prayers about new roomie and I getting great jobs next week. Tomorrow is 'trip to large wholesale store/retail conglomerate day' as well as 'resume day'. Am I the only one that likens writing a resume to having bamboo spikes pounded beneath one's fingernails? Fuck do I hate that shit.

Anyway, that's really about it.

(I now own a copy of the greatest cover song ever: Ministry covering Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World'. Let that soak in a moment. The scary part? Not half bad.) (The even more scary part? How many of you know who the hell Ministry is? Show of hands, anyone?)

Glorious

Hey, I may be the only one here that love, love, loves horror movies and shit, but....If I'm not, y'all are going to want to go download and watch, immediately if not sooner, Dead Set. It's a 5 part mini series that just aired in the UK....and it rocks. (You can get it at the link.)

Super gory, however. And violent. Not something for the kiddos. BUT! No stupid CG bullshit, just real old school special effects. We like that.

(And it takes place on the set of Big*Brother UK. All the cast members are real BB cast members. And the celebrity host? The real one. That makes it all the cooler.)

Anyway, soap box ended. (But good horror stuffs are so hard to come by....I am just always thrilled when I can see one that either makes me go 'GROSS!', or not really want to be alone. Love. It.)

Glee, and Hope

I don't have to leave the country.

I terrified the fish with my exuberance.

VOTE!!

Good Lord, people, in the name of all things holy...VOTE!! VOTE VOTE VOTE!! Stand up and be counted!

I cannot stress it enough--VOTE. Please? Thanks. VOTE.

I plan on spending all of tomorrow sitting on my ass in front of the television, either celebrating or packing for my move out of the country.

SO VOTE!!

Depression.

Yeah.

So, in a turn of weird, unexpected and not overly exciting events, I will not begin college this winter.

I am waiting for everyone I know to start yelling at me.

I am going back to work instead.

This fucking economy pisses me the motherfuck off. My sister and her seeming complete incompetence when it comes to my father's estate pisses me the motherfuck off. Why is it so fucking hard to get ahead right now? I quit my goddamn job (all those moons ago) with the understanding and hope that I would go to school.

And now I simply cannot afford it. I am not eligible for financial aid. I am not eligible for grants. I have been out of school for so long, and my grades were so bad, I am not even close to eligible for scholarships.

Instead, I get to go try and find a job in this goddamn economy (depressing in and of itself) in this fucking county where there aren't any real jobs to be had. We have one car, and the weather is beginning to turn. Commuting isn't an option either.

I shouldn't be as upset with all of this as I am. Mostly, I just don't want to hear it from everyone, what a failure I am for electing to have heat instead of an education.

I just talked to T about all of this, and now he is feeling like a failure because he feels like he can't support me/our household. It kills me to see that look on his face. To see him hate himself, when it doesn't have anything to do with him. It has to do with everything being so expensive, with his wages not going up when the prices do. We simply cannot afford the tuition right now, if we want to eat or have electricity. He has a job with the one real company in this town, in this county, with the best paying wages and the best benefits package. How are people supporting their kids, their lives, when we can't make ends meet ourselves, just the two of us? We live cheaply, save as much money as we can, and we still aren't getting ahead.

I know there are millions of people in this country alone that have it far, far worse than T and me. I know it, and it makes me feel dirty and evil and wrong to complain.

Grand Central Station

I need to work on communication in my house.

We need a large whiteboard, or pagers, or something, so that I can know for absolute certain that if I tell someone something, they will remember it.

For instance:

"Hey boys, I have plans early tomorrow morning, my friend is coming over, and then again that evening."

This somehow translates to

"Do whatever you want, I don't need the living room, ever."

Because I was supposed to (emphasis on supposed) have my friend over for breakfast this fine morning. I was supposed to get my writing done first, have some coffee.

What is actually happening is something else entirely.

The boys came home at 6am. (Which is normal and totally fine.)
They brought a friend from out of town with them. (Which is more than totally fine, I enjoy this kid.)
That friend is sleeping on my couch. (Normally, totally fine. Today, not so much.)

So I am creeping around my house, typing on my laptop in the bedroom, and silently texting my friend to see if he wants to go out to breakfast so we can actually speak to each other and not have to hide in the bedroom or garage.

See, normally, this would SO not be an issue. SO. This friend of the boys knows he is always welcome in our house, and he is. But there have been multiple, and by multiple I mean A HELL OF A LOT of instances when T and I had plans or friends over or something and the boys determined that their wants and needs were more important. I am never going to tell someone they have to sleep in the car, or need to find somewhere else to go, so we wind up with 4 people sleeping, unhappily, in my living room.

It's irritating. I'm not being very eloquent about it. I'm mostly just pissed that yet again I can't be comfortable in my own home, that I have to change my plans last minute because the boys listened to what I told them and then immediately did whatever the hell they wanted.

And now I'm off to shower.

Cranky, Tired, and Ice Skating Uphill

I cannot seem to sleep enough.

Also, I seem to be having a raging (far worse than normal) case of PMS, which is doing great things for my home life. T is so very patient with me. I am a lucky girl.

Now let me go snap at him about nothing and then sob uncontrollably for a while. It's been working the last few days, why not?

We cleaned out our closets today, which made me want to start drinking about 9 am. But it's done.

Doing NaNoWriMo, which would be a hell of a lot cooler and more productive if you could navigate their site with any real semblance of ease. I understand that the servers are under tremendous pressure, but it's not like they didn't see this shit coming.

Uhm....Other, exciting things in the works that I will post about when they come to fruition.

Happy Halloween

T's youngest brother ate our Halloween candy. We have to go buy more. Sigh.

I haven't really done anything interesting this week....Our roomie has been given 30 days notice (the one non-family member living here) and he seems to be taking it just as we expected--Like a pussy. He seems to think that he is ENTITLED to a lot more from us than he actually is--this is and has been a theme with this kid for as long as he has lived here. It makes me really mad and upset to think about it. (He hates women, and therefore doesn't respect anything I say or do. Which enrages everyone in the house. But he will only listen if T tells him to do something....UGH! I can't talk about this any more.)

Also, spent two days openly weeping (well, kinda) about some of the stuff that T and I have to do in order to get married. Again, I don't really want to go there.

I made pumpkin and butternut squash puree and froze it, so we can have real pumpkin pie (GROSS), pumpkin bread, cookies, pancakes and so on, none of which I will eat, and curried butternut squash soup, which I will definitely eat.

I got nothin, dude. I was so upset last night I called my mom at 11:00 at night--that should tell you something.

Then I watched Ravenous and went to bed. (Seen this movie? It's funny. Shouldn't be funny, not trying to be funny, its gross, and creepy, but parts of it are funny. The music. {And when the dude starts screaming 'HE'S LICKING ME!!!!', that's pretty hilarious too.})

Alrighty.

Ok. As much as I am totally sure you have all been waiting with baited breath to hear about my writers conference, I am going to tell you about it.

However.

I am not really going to give any specifics (email me and ask, if you like) because one of the topics that was heavily discussed in several of my workshops was blogging.

Most authors are quite anti-blog. Also, when you are an up-and-comer, you will be googled, you will be researched, and if you have a blog or a my*space or a face*book, it will be looked at.

So you either have to be careful what you post and where, or not do it at all.

I have some strong opinions about some of the speakers that were in attendance, but I am not going to share them here. Ask, and ye shall receive, my friends.

Anyway, it was flippin intense. Not a lot of sleep was had, the food was not so great, and the coffee was even worse. Lots of sitting, lots of note taking, lots of smiling and talking and stressing and travelling. (We also left on Thursday, which was the plan all along, yet I had convinced myself that we weren't leaving until Friday, so that threw a whole new stressful spin on things. I rock.)

Anyway, all in all it was a good experience. I learned a lot, and it motivated me a bit. Also, my opinion of myself and my writing was boosted as I saw that I am...well, better than I thought I was. And I am not a crazy cat lady. (Quite a few of those around.)

And those Canadians! They rock. They drive like maniacs, but they were so nice, and very into American politics. (I guess our bail out trashed their dollar. I hear that this is happening around the globe--Australia was hit pretty hard too.) So there was plenty to talk about, aside from writing.

Well, there you go. I have been up since 4:30am, and this whole 'Fuck a sleep schedule' thing is getting old. (But I did go to bed at like, 7:30 last night, and had a nap.....I suppose I was tired.)

In the Mean Time

Here are some photos of T and me before we went out to dinner tonight. (He missed me! Took me to a huge, wildly decadent meal that is now causing me a horrid amount of bloat and discomfort. Hooray.)

And please enjoy T's new goatee--he is Freddy Mercury for Halloween (It pains me how many people don't know who that is....) and doesn't want to just grow the 'stache.

I kinda like it, actually....





(yes, they both look startlingly the same. J took them for us on the iPhone and was making noises like they were drastically different. But whatever, I'm tired. Also, that goatee of T's was known as the 'Evil Spock Beard' in HS, when he grew it to play Jesus in the 'Stations of the Cross' play at the church. Holy, holy, holy are we.) (It also pains me how many people don't get the Evil Spock Beard reference.)

Americas Hat

I have returned from Canada.

It was a very good, interesting experience.

I am completely exhausted.

I will write more about it when I have slept.

Met famous people (some of whom were nice, some were bitchy, some were really awesome.)

I will get there. Later.

Off to nap.

Flat Iron Seal

I sent my friend a text message today asking him if he wanted to have dinner at my house--That we were having 'Flat Iron Seal' tacos. (I typed 'steak'. My phone regularly changes the words for me....and I don't notice.)

He wrote me back wanting to know if I had clubbed the seal myself, and that he was concerned that they would be tough if I had.

I laughed my ass off.

Anyway, that's essentially the only funny thing that has happened today. I'm really, really starting to freak out about Canada....and I am doing load after load after load of laundry in preparation. (I know the house will be destroyed when I get back anyway....I don't know why I even try. Maybe to justify my rage.)

Frigid!

T sleeps like a nuclear reactor. Hot, hot, hot. He wants a sheet and nothing more, lest be burst into flames.

I, on the other hand, sleep as though buried in snow. I cannot have enough blankets, pillows, and fuzzy sheets.

Our bed looks weird.

Anyway, last night it was so cold in our bedroom that even with the 1.5 blankets we had on the bed (compromise, folks!) I was shivering and T was tired of it.

So he got out the (!) down comforter. And placed it atop the blankets (and polar fleece sheets) we already had on the bed.

And here's the clincher--When I woke up this morning, we were both, BOTH still under the blankets. T had not spontaneously combusted, nor had he flung the blankets (or himself) across the room.

This means it was freaking arctic in there last night.

And now I'm off to go take a shower in it. (Wish me luck).

Top of the Morning

It's four forty-five in the morning.

I have been awake for an hour.

I had to take T to work this (very blustery, if I may say so myself) morning, and he didn't have crap to take for lunch, so off to the grocery store we went.

Is there anything more glamorous than a woman wearing fleece pajama bottoms with clouds on them, sheepskin slippers and a "class of 99" sweatshirt (Not the year I graduated, thankyouverymuch) stumbling around a grocery store parking lot? I think not.

My options at this point are:

1)Stay awake and go to the gym at 5:30
2)Stay awake and clean the house
3)Stay awake and dick around on the computer for a few hours
4)Stay awake and call my mother
5)Go back to bed

T didn't go to the gym yesterday, as it was not operating during hours where he was free from work. So technically speaking, he has to go today and I don't. (So there!)

I think I'm going back to bed. Hopefully I can go back to sleep, rather than my patented "Stare and the ceiling and grow more and more enraged" routine that I seem to love so much.

Bored-Dumb

Oh, TMI Tuesday. (Yes, it's Sunday. I'm BORED.) How I don't want any part of the sex questions. (Again, not appropriate blog fodder. And maybe....Maybe I will bring back that entry. Maybe.)


1. Prudence: When do you feel it is most important to exercise prudence? When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window?

I have a tendency to be overly practical. I really try to look at things from all sides, and use logic. A lot of people tell me this is a good thing, and makes me stand apart from 'the pack', as it were, because I try to take all sides into account, and see what all the outcomes would be with all courses of action. I annoy myself when I do this too much because I over think a lot of shit.

When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window? Ooph. I have a hard time not being responsible. Like, when we went to Vegas, I spent money that I had in savings. I took that money, knowing that I could spend with without any financial ramifications, but still felt guilty for not saving that money. For not leaving it where it was and having a modest time while we were there.

I suppose everyone needs to cut loose every now and again....but I have a hard time.

2. Justice: Is a sense of justice really a virtue, or is only a tool that allows us to pass judgment on others without feeling guilty? What do you feel is the greatest injustice facing the world today?

I think that justice is a virtue, however, I don't necessarily agree with the way 'justice has been served' in a lot of things. I also don't think that revenge is a good form of justice. The greatest injustice? I can only pick one? Oh lordy. Uhm, well, Hate. Hate of any kind, for any reason. Religious intolerance, sexual, racial, economical--hate. I think that if the world could overcome it's hatred of the unfamiliar, the general ignorance most people hold so dear, everyone would be better off. But I'm not holding my breath.

3. Temperance: All things in moderation. Should we allow ourselves a few excesses? How well do you restrain yourself when faced with your deepest desires?

I think that you should be allowed a few excesses, within reason. I don't think those excesses should negatively impact your family or your life. (i.e., my drunk mother drinking to excess, costing us all tons and tons of things, like money, respect and love.) But like I said before, everyone should be allowed to cut loose now and again. How do I restrain myself? I really have a hard time when it comes to food. I really, really, really love me some food. The rest of them....(aside from smoking) aren't that hard.

4. Courage/Fortitude: How well do you confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation? Does facing the little things make you as brave as facing the big things?

I have had a life filled with these things. People tell me I am strong and brave, but I don't really believe them. I just accept these things as the only option and plow forward. And stress my face off. I think that (depending on the thing) big and small things are all a matter of perception. It's how you handle it that counts.

5. Faith: Is it important to have faith? How steadfast are you in your core beliefs? Do your core beliefs equate to faith in something?

I think it's important to have faith....but not necessarily "Faith", like religion. I think you should have faith in yourself, in what's important to you. That has nothing to do with "God" as a concept. I am ridiculously steadfast in my core beliefs--like, oh, treat everyone equally regardless. My core beliefs don't really equate to faith in anything, being that I am not a religious person in any stretch of the word, but I suppose that's something that is different from person to person.

6. Hope: Does having hope for the future help you deal with the present? How good are you at finding the good in the bad? What is the thing you hope for most?

I lost all hope a long, long time ago. I don't hope for anything, really. I mean, not in everyday life. I'm more of a worst case scenario person. Plan for that and then you're pleasantly surprised all the time. I don't ever really see the good in the bad until everything is over with. What do I hope for the most? I hope that I have a great wedding. That my life will be stable and happy. That my future children will be healthy. That T is safe and healthy at all times.

7. Love/Charity: How easy is it for you to give selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness? How easy is it for you to receive selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness?

Very easy for me to give. Very hard for me to accept. If I love you, I love you. That's the end of it. If you love me, I typically thing you are deluding yourself. T still manages to love the dickens out of me, though, even if I think he's crazy and I'm just really, really blessed. (But that's more self hatred than anything else.)

Gym

First off:

I could survive for 1 minute, 13 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds Pedia

Now, I'm sure you will all feel better knowing that.

Hopefully that doesn't come to pass, as I don't know that being chained to a bed and a velociraptor is something I would like to do. Ever.

Went to the gym again today.

I hate to have people look at me while I am exercising. I am not pretty. I am sweaty, my hair is all fucked up, my face gets really red. Not good. Mostly, I feel like they are staring at my jiggling behind, and I really hate that.

So today, I went to the very very back of the gym, so that no one but the wall could see my heinie, and hopped aboard le treadmill.

There was a weight bench directly in front of me.

A tottering old man wandered over, sat on the bench, and watched me.

For about 10 minutes.

Not wanting to assume that he was lechereous, I didn't say anything. Maybe he was resting, maybe he was having a heart attack.

But he stared. Directly. At. Me. The whole time.

I turned up my iPod and looked at my feet.

A personal trainer person man, (that's his title, I'm sure) saw what was happening as the GYM WAS ESSENTIALLY EMPTY, and came over and got on the treadmill right next to me. (I assume that treadmill rules are similar to rules at the urinal, right? You're not supposed to sidle up right next to someone if given the option not to, right? I don't use urinals, I just hear about it.)

The old man left.

Sigh.

Pointless

I just wrote an entire blog entry and deleted it.

It's not appropriate blog fodder.

Gmail has a thing now to keep you from sending emails when you're drunk--Blogger should make something to keep you from typing blogs when you are pissed/irritated/hurt/emotionally bereft/not yourself in some way.

Just saying, is all.

(I'm fine. Just irritated. So what else is new, right?)

Kinda irks me--it was a damn good entry. :)

Fave Friday

The kids at Blogtoberfest (read: Another blogger who is obeying the rules as well as paying attention) inform me that is Blogtoberfest Fave Friday.

Which makes my job easier, because I am really, really tired.

See, the last time I looked at the clock before slumber, it was 4:48am. The alarm went off at 5:30am.

That's not a lot of sleep. Is there anything greater than listening to your significant other breathe, peacefully off in the land of Nod, while you stare at the ceiling and culture up more and more hate for, well, everything? I can't think of anything I like better than that. (That's what I keep telling myself, anyway, since I do it so often.)

So I'm tired, tired, tired. Went shopping (hooray for Ross and TJ*Maxxx) and then went and saw a really terrible movie (Quarantine. Really? Really.), joined a gym (Lord save us all) and drug myself around under the power of only caffeine.

So let's do our faves.

Favorite Color: Purple, mostly.
Favorite Song: This is a tough one. Right at the moment, Digital Love by Daft Punk.
Favorite Book: American Gods by Neil Gaiman

I can't think of any more. I'm off to have more coffee. Yes, it's 5:30 at night. But I have to be up in 11.5 hours because we joined the freaking gym and I have a panic attack if I think people are looking at me while I'm exercising, so we have to go before anyone gets there.

Up to the Minute Posting!

So I'm coming in just before midnight, so it counts!

And here is what is happening, like, right this moment (or at least less than 5 minutes ago....) here at le Condo.

I'm sitting in the computer chair/not helping T......Spoiled princess that I am.





Like my snowflake sheets?

Well, we're off to bed. Slept until 1 pm today (it was no less gray and dreary outside at 1pm than at 9am, which was the undoing of my circadian rhythms. Undoing, I tell you. Slept way, way too much) but have to be out of the house no later than 6:30am tomorrow....Yeah. Sleep happens now.

Good night! (And happy 3am/you'll be up in two hours or so, Brian. Enjoy the East Coast.)

Must. Keep.Blogging.

So, I am totally going to fail Blogtoberfest. I'm heading to a writers conference in Canada (America's Hat! So hilarious. But I love Canada, actually.) next week, so unless I 1)Take the dust-farting laptop 2)Use free wi-fi that may or may not exsist in the hotel we are staying in 3)Have any time or inclination to write blogs on said farting laptop with said hypothetical free wi-fi, there will not be any blogging.

I am terrified of this writers conference. Also, excited beyond repair, but that's mostly cloaked in 'the fear', which is a term I usually use in reference to the smoking of the pot.

See, in a freakish, kismet turn of events, I have been invited to attend this conference by T's beautiful sister, A, to whom these conferences are old hat. She knows her shit when it comes to writing, has years of 'real' writing (as opposed to 'fake' writing, which is what I think I do....Don't ask.) expirence. This will be my first conference, like, since I was a child. I have no real writing to take with me (but have begged off speaking with editors/agents/publishers, so that's not soooo terrible) so I have been outlining and reading and swearing and bellowing things about dialouge and grammar and plot to T, which I think confuses and scares him more than he likes to admit. (Nothing like quietly doing a crossword puzzle in front of the fireplace, enjoying your cocoa, when your wife to be comes howling out of the bedroom demanding your justification of past and present participles in a context you cannot understand, then tears up a little and stomps back into the bedroom.)

I love that I am expressing my fear of my writing forever sucking with a huge run-on sentance with grammar problems. Love that.

(I just bang out blog entries and publish them. I am not one of the elite {not that that is a bad thing} bloggers who types everything in a Word document over the course of several days, edits, spell checks and so on. I just barf words out and let fly. Which is not the case {and therefore the problem} with my 'real/fake' writing.)

Anyway.

My mommy sent me a package today, which contained knitting patterns, recipes, and a leaflet on 'Safe Holiday Cooking', which reminds me of such gems as "Wash your hands before cooking", "Use a meat thermometer", and my favorite, "Don't partially cook the turkey".

Bless her heart. Seriously, my mom has like, no money at all, and it's a big deal for her to be able to send me stuff. So when she does, she feels like she needs to pad the order a little. She seems to forget that I have worked in professional kitchens a time or two. But the thought was there, and that's what matters.

She also knitted me a hat, which is made of really pretty yarn, and sent me a skein that matches so I can make one for T (no.) or make myself a scarf to match.

I have a huge head. And thick hair. So my mom, when knitting for my giant bean, always makes something akin to a grocery sack in size. She crocheted me a hat several years ago that I used as a basket because it was 1)very firm and 2)Huge.

This hat is really big, but it fits ok. And it's pretty. T says it's cute, and it sure beats my other hat (which has earflaps!) so why not. I'm not really out to impress the world.

See?

What?

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites


The sad thing is, that's a low score. I scored lower than 90% of the other websites who submitted.

Damn.

My Favorite Game

Is called "Find the Sweatshirt". Or, "Find the Keys/Cellphone/Purse/Etc."

I lose things a lot. I just spent several minutes playing that first game, only to realize that the sweatshirt in question was sitting next to me.

I rock. Have I mentioned that before? 'Cause it's true.

********************************

Also, I need to learn to use my words. Taking A to the transportation hub today, T (who was driving) considered pulling out in front of a truck that he didn't see. Rather than saying something along the lines of, "My darling fiancee, there appears to be a large vehicle outside of your current range of vision. Please use caution before journeying further into this intersection", I made a sound that was similar to "Auughtrphaaaa!!" and pointed at the truck.

Seriously? I amaze myself sometimes. I do that all the time--See something in the road, a traffic snarl or something weird, and if T doesn't react immediately, I start making barking/moaning/growling sounds rather than forming words.

Sounding like a drunk infant is not the best way to alert someone of peril.

Just sayin' is all.

I Fail

Fail fail fail fail.

Didn't post yesterday. Granted, had superbusycrazy day, which no one had anticipated, but still. No post. Should have posted via the iPhone while killing people with stares in the grocery store, or while driving.

T's sister A came out for the wedding show, which I had forgotten about entirely.

This wedding show was essentially worthless, being that we don't live in a huge town, and organization was not, it seems, high on the 'to-do' list.

We may have chosen our wedding cake, and we got a free wine tour/tasting out if it, so I guess that's something.

Then A and I went and had a martini at my former place of employment, and I cooked dinner.

I look forward to sleeping in tomorrow. Have spent a lot of time with people who require my conscious attendance in their company before 8 am. (E's parents, for instance. 9 am is nearly AFTERNOON!) Eleven sounds like a late sleeping dream. Even if I don't get nearly as much crap done when I sleep that late....whatever.

I got nothin'.

Went and saw Bill Maher's new movie today.

Go see it....knowing you might be offended, if you are religious.

It was thought provoking, and depressing, and brought up interesting points that I hadn't thought of before. Therefore, I liked it.

Also, finished 'watching' Neil Gaiman's new book today, and loved it, even if the ending was.....meh. But I am here to judge. And I have a feeling there may be a sequel, which might not be a bad thing.

And....that's really it. Hooray for that, I guess. Off to feed myself (and E) dinner. (T is helping his brother J move the big-screen television he just bought home from the store. It would seem that J wanted a huge television, one so huge, in fact, that it will not fit in his car. I am getting that man a tape measure for Christmas, I tell you.)

Maverick.

I'm sure you have all seen this. If you haven't, enjoy. (We are all still laughing about this in my house. But again, I'm really trying to leave my political leanings out of the blog.)

Animals

I took T to work this morning, as it is COLD outside....at least early in the morning. He didn't have to be there until 8, which is a nice respite from the usual 4:45. The company he works for is going through the 'annual down', wherein they turn everything (and I mean everything, electricity, everything) off and have a bazillion contractors come in and they fix, clean, repair and do maintenance on every single thing on the property.

This lasts for a week. During that week, everyone works overtime, works 7 days straight or more. And none of them (aside from the operators, which T only is part of the time) do their normal jobs.

Today, for instance, T is a "Hole Sitter".

He gets to sit in a chair (I assume there is a chair involved, I didn't ask, now that I think about it) and stare into a hole for 9 hours, to make sure that the contractors that are inside the hole, fixing whatever, don't fall to their doom. If they do fall, T calls someone on the radio and the anti-doom task force is deployed.

Thrilling. (I want an anti-doom task force!)

Anyway, so I got up earlier than usual today.

After my return home, I called my mom, being that if you want to actually talk to her, getting a hold of her before about 10am is advisable. If you just need a quick exchange of information, you can go as late as 2pm.

My mom recently acquired a new kitten. She has named this cat "Zip", which would seem to be an appropriate name. She beats up the other cats (Sasha and Cleo) and races all over the place, like kittens are wont to do. She also has learned to get out the front door through the screen, which drives my mom to distraction.

She always comes back, Zip, but she brings with her a gang of ne'er do wells. She will be gone for ten minutes and come back with four other kittens, who invite themselves in and help themselves to the food dish and get in the kitchen sink and generally traumatize the older cats and annoy my mom.

Are we bored yet?

Anyway, while I was on the phone with my mom, and she was telling me all about the kitten gang in her sink, I went into the garage to have a cigarette (Yes. I know.) and I opened the garage door, not wanting to fill the place with smoke.

As the garage door opened, I was face to face with two deer. Just standing in my driveway. The clattering of the door didn't seem to bother them, and so we faced each other for a few seconds before I went and sat down.

They wandered around for a little while, ate part of my now flowerless garden, and headed to the backyard for some apples. I finished my cigarette and went to look at my herb garden, which I need to move inside shortly, and the deer came back around the side of the house and stood less than three feet from me.

Now, I have seen the videos where deer attack hunters. I generally leave the nature alone, in hopes that the nature will return the favor. (That's all I need. To be mauled by a doe in my front yard in my pajamas.) So the deer just stood there, looking at me, and I just stood there, waiting for Bambi to make her move.

I'm still talking on the phone, by the way, in a normal tone of voice. Deer are unaffected. They started grazing on my lawn, close enough to me that I could have touched them. I could see their little teeth, the spots where the fur starts on their noses. The individual hairs in their giant ears.

I went in the house. They're now out back, getting rid of the rest of the apples and dandelions and giving the neighbors dogs heart attacks.

I almost ran over a woman last week because she was STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERSECTION so she could take pictures of two deer in someones yard. Really?

I really do have the most interesting life, huh?

And....

I got nothing, really, today.

I am almost done with my second BGTP sock.

I went to a staff meeting for the volunteer job, and would rather wait tables again than work for such a disorganized 'company'. Seriously? Staff meeting consisted of a bunch of teenagers and three retired people sitting around, drinking coffee and chatting amongst themselves/playing grab ass. I sat there for OVER AN HOUR before I just walked out.

Depressing.

We are having some surly weather out here! Semi-exciting.

Does this count as a blog? No one else has updated....So I suppose yes, yes it does.

Magic.

I'm knitting the second "barbie goes tanning" sock. Hooray for that.

I am knitting this while listening to Neil Gaiman's new book online. You see, he's reading one chapter at each of his book signings, from first to last. They are video taped, and then posted on his website for the world to see. So not only do you get a free book out of it, you get to hear the author himself read it. (His voice reminds me a lot of Alan Rickman, and his inflection reminds me a lot of my cousin. The combination is pleasant, which is weird. At least if you know my cousin.)

Either way, I am tickled. I love Neil Gaiman almost to the point of creepiness. (American Gods rocked my socks, people.)

But enough of that.

So aside from knitting and cooking and overhauling my kitchen, I gots nothin'. It's rather ironic that the month I accept the challenge to blog daily is a month in which nothing terribly interesting is going on. Which is ok, because when things aren't boring, they're usually terrible. :) Such a ray of sunshine.