While My Checkbook Gently Weeps

T and I put the deposit down on our reception site for the wedding.

Sigh.

I hate spending money.

No, really. Especially when it is the kind of money that drains your checkbook. Don't get me wrong, T and I have set a budget and are steadfast in our 'stick-to-it-ness', but still. Ooph.

Oh well, its the sort of thing you only do once, right? It's the one day that is supposed to be just about you (and mate), and what you want.

T and I both hate to be the center of attention.

I was talking to 'lil bro J the other day about wedding dress shopping (He brought it up. Random.) and he was horrified to learn that I want no freaking part of shopping for a dress. The idea of having to wear something white (WHITE! The one color I DO NOT WEAR. Well, white and yellow.) and look like a princess while everyone in my life stares at me and takes pictures makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and sob to myself.

No, I'm serious. (And I am wearing white. My father is laughing from the grave.) I don't like to have my picture taken, I don't like to be stared at, I don't like to 'pose', I don't like speaking in front of people....Yuck.

T is rallying. He is all about getting married, which I respect. (I am also all about getting married, i just don't want anyone to look at me while i do it.) He is confident and ready to stand before everyone in our lives and let the flashbulbs explode around him.

Sigh.

I have a year to worry about it, I know. I'm sure I will be so exhausted and overwhelmed that I won't care at that point, or I will rally and finally get through my head that I AM GETTING MARRIED. (It still doesn't seem real. is that abnormal? It just seems like I have more jewelry and T and I are spending more money than we usually do.)

Pah. No one on here cares about my wedding woes. Vent completed.

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I saw the Eurovan with a lift kit again today. I doubt I will ever understand.

I need to stay up until 5 am today and pick T up from work because I am a nice girl. I think this should be possible because I slept until 2pm today. (I have random bouts with insomnia, and when they suddenly break I will sleep for 15 hours or something. It's not great.) It always makes me feel like a loser when I sleep that late for no reason. Was I up all night curing cancer? No. Was I writing the great american novel? No. Was I sitting in my garage smoking/watching knitting videos on the internet? Yes. Whoo! Changing the world, baby.

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Everyone needs to try 'Pluots'. They are apricot/plum hybrids and the most delicious thing ever not created by God. (I hate fuzzy fruit. Love the taste of peaches but won't eat them because they are fuzzy and that is totally disgusting in my mouth, thank you. {And yes, I am marrying an Italian man. I know you all needed that mental image. You're welcome.)