Confidentiality agreements and "I showed my ass to a stranger" or, the most surreal moment of my adult life

Yeah.

So, a 'big deal' celebrity is getting married at my place of work sometime in the future.

I am working this wedding, and had to sign a confidentiality agreement stating that I will 1)Not disclose the time or date of the ceremony or 2)the identity of any members of the guest list.

lets just say--

it could be interesting. And I stand to make a whole. lot. of. money.

So I signed it. Apparently, if the paparazzi or a huge crowd appears, the company I work for gets sued and not paid for the wedding.

This is a HUGE WEDDING.

I'm not even supposed to say this much. Oh well. but when it's over....oh, there will be details. Juicy, hilarious details, that I'm sure will involve me making an ass in front of really, really important people.

My boss, whom I adore, said to me:

"I'm not worried about you going ga-ga over the famous people--I'm worried about you flipping them a lot of shit. I know you."

And she's never heard about the time I met the Wu-Tang Clan.

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So I was coerced into getting a (gasp!) Brazilian wax yesterday.

Let me just put it this way--This small, very pretty Asian woman is the ONLY person other than my parents to touch or see me like that in a non-medical, non-sexual setting. I was terrified.

It was fine, until she says to me, "Roll over."

What? Oh. OH.

So I do. Then she says, "I need you to hold the skin back for me." meaning, well, my ass cheeks.

I laid there on the little table, wearing a tshirt and the ridiculous terrycloth 'skirt' all hitched up around my waist, holding my butt open so she could, well, tear the hair out of me. She then says...."Oh, you aren't a hairy person! (She said this about 39485 times) This won't take a second!"

The wax takes two minutes to harden completely.

about the 45 second mark, I looked at the situation from a third-person perspective. And laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Which everyone in the salon could hear. Then the wax hardened and I stopped laughing.

Anyway, it was worth it, I guess. I still am slightly horrified, though. Really.