Laundry List

So.

I'm losing my damn mind. Like, more than we already knew.

There's just a lot going on. A lot to worry about. A lot of thoughts and worries and motes of panic floating and buzzing around in my head that keep me from sleeping, relaxing, being fully myself. I'm trying to calm down, I'm trying to take to heart all those "It's going to be ok"'s that are being given to me. It's not working.

My mother, bless her, is making me lose my mind. She is so very selfish, so demanding, it exhausts me. Heaven forbid I pay attention to myself for a moment--We simply cannot do that, not on Mom's watch. It was so bad today that I poured rum in my diet pepsi to keep myself from overturning the couch in rage. Granted, I took two sips, felt the tummy burn and then switched back to virgin diet pepsi, but still. Those who know me are impressed.

I'm working such insane hours, I can't get anything done during the week without paying the price for it. I cannot complain, it's so, so much better than night shift. (Have I mentioned that there are a total of 4 people I work with--Total, like, there are no others--and there is still drama galore? How does this happen?) I've managed to finagle my way into three day weekends during our peninsula's marooning (The bridge that leads the way onto and off of this peninsula is closed for 6 weeks, HOORAY FOR THAT.) but I hold out little hope that this will continue.

I'm tired, I'm stressed, I have so, so much to do and there seem to be road blocks thrown in my path at every turn.

I just want to sleep. Wake me when I'm married.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the bullshit surrounding our honeymoon. Yes, we're still going to Hawaii, but, like most other good things in my life, it comes with a fucking PRICE TAG.