Sometimes I Believe in God. Kinda.

Today was one of those sometimes.

See, religion is not something that I talk about on the old blogerific very often, due largely to the fact that I typically offend someone, or make people think that I need to be preached to, saved, or otherwise harassed. I really don't want to do any of these things. Really.

If you are a god fearing member of today's society, more power to you. Really. I am actually almost jealous. I was raised in a home where my parents said "Religion is personal. It's up to you--when you decide to go there, we will support you in whatever you choose to do, but it's not our place to decide for you." This is probably one of the only things I agree with and/or respect about how my parents raised me.

I have friends of nearly all faiths. Mormons, Catholics, Pagans, Pentecostals, Jews, Baptists. They accept me for who I am as I do them. I don't know that they agree with my Switzerland-esque take on faith, but we're friends just the same. Who, versus what we are is what matters.

Anyway, with that, I shall explain.

A very good friend of mine was in a car accident today. This person is fine--walked away. Car is totalled--but they are fine.

Seeing where the wreck took place, and how close this person came to potential death shocked me. Scared the holy hell out of me, actually. No one likes to see people they care about get hurt, or even come close.

All I can come up with for explanation as to why this person was safe is luck. And the idea that someone or thing is looking out for them. Guardian Angels, things like that. Maybe.

I am blessed to have this person in my life. I am so thankful that they are safe right now. If it were socially acceptable, I probably would have tried to smother this person with the sheer force of my hugging strength today. (I thought better of it. Granted, we were surrounded by medical professionals, but this person was still a little sore and had just, you know, been in a wreck. Attacking them, even with love, is not the best idea. When they are better I will have to revisit these feelings.)

There have been other times in my life where I felt like maybe there was some 'entity' looking out for me/the people I care about. Like when my dad died--his heart stopped the moment I walked into the hospital room. That was a blessing--but I can't say that dad himself waited, as he was unconscious, or that god waited until I was done smoking to take his life. Luck, coincidence, stuff like that.

So sometimes, mostly when the chips are down, I think that maybe there is something bigger than us that gives a shit. The rest of the time I feel that there is something bigger than us that doesn't give a shit--we are mostly on our own.

All I know for sure, with absolute certainty, is that I love my friends. I love everything about them, the faults, the quirks, the differences. I am a better person for having them around me. I am so lucky to have them in my life, and I want them all to know it. I guess sometimes it takes a scare for us to really acknowledge the things in our lives that we are the most thankful for, to prioritize and all that.

This was a very weird and badly written post. Sorry. Bear with me.

Things I want to do

I want to do a lot of crafty stuff lately. i think its because the weather has been so bad out here....I just want to sit on my couch, warmed by the fire in the stove, drink my molten chocolate (did you buy it yet?) and knit while listening to COPS on TV. Or MST3K. None of this 'productive' crap I seem to be obligated to do as a 'grown up'. Pish posh.

In the same 'productive' vein, I have adamantly refused to shop for food of any kind for a long, long time.

That's a lie, now that I think about it.

I haven't shopped for the sort of food I want to eat that will last in my house for more than 24 hours in a long, long time. I should probably do something about that.

Also, I want to spend at least 36 hours sleeping. Within the next 48. Sounds awesome. (not very productive, however.)

Tomorrow is my Friday at work, and it fills me with an inappropriate amount of glee to know that I don't have to be there for two whole days. that's 48 hours, now that I think about it......

Lists, Product Endorsements, and More General Bitching

Because that's why you're here, anyway, right?

First, the lists. I do this every year, and never adhere to any of the advice I give myself because I forget that I wrote the list. Bear with me.

As usual......

Things that Piss Me Off:

*Bad Tippers. I think everyone should have to work in public service for at least six months in their lives. If that doesn't change the way you eat out, pump gas or talk to the asshat at the Post Office, you're officially a douche wad. If I give you bad service, I understand a bad tip. If I bust my ass for you and your bitchy wife....throw me a bone. We're not in Europe--I get paid minimum wage and work far, far harder than that. You chose the wrong social norm to buck, buddy. Stop wearing pants if you want to play that game. At least then we would all get a laugh.

*Rap Music. I should be paid as much as some of these jackasses--I complain about shit all the time. I will even throw in some death threats and titty references. And I have a sense of rhythm which is obviously a bonus but not required.

*Insomnia. I want to sleep.

*The six pounds I gained in ONE WEEK over Christmas. Fuck. You. I didn't really even eat that much, dicks.


So there's that.

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Product endorsements! This is a game we play at work a lot. Things I have and love so you should too.

Schokinag Drinking Chocolate: This is probably where my six pounds came from. This is like crack fucking cocaine, people. If you love chocolate, but don't like to be overly sweet--get it. Drink it. Bathe in it--I have considered it. (The Moroccan Spice is the reason I get out of bed, lately.)

My new Ipod Nano: This thing does everything but the damn dishes. Mine is metallic sea-foam green. Love.

The new Daft Punk album: I don't have this yet, actually. But I will be thieving it from my buddy at work and depositing it directly into the aforementioned Ipod. This is the tour I saw them on a few months ago that I believe I likened to seeing God live. It makes me want to throw up Im so in love with it/them. But that's just me being weird.

I kinda blew my proverbial load with the Daft Punk. I'm spent. It's not like I have taste similar to anyone who reads this--you're all just basking in the glow of how odd I truly am.

You're welcome.

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I told my boss today that I was thinking about quitting. She agreed--She too wants the fuck out. This makes me feel slightly better.

I went out to the bar with some of my coworkers last night to do reconnaissance. And it was fruitful.

Oh, and I hate my job and 90% of my coworkers. Hi, all one of you that reads this/knows this exists!

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Well, after feeling like death for most of the day, I feel better. And I'm hungry, which I am going to pointedly ignore. I ate today! You had enough, body! Lord.

Leave me some comments, people! It's like I'm talking to myself these days! (Aside from Brian and Circe, who I have to tell that I too laugh harder than anyone in the room at the RLS medication commercial that may cause uncontrollable sexual and gambling urges. But I have insomnia too.)

Or not.

Are You Out of Your Tree?

More work drama. My camel hump is full. Totally, completely full. Sigh. Its not even worth going into its so dumb.

How freaking hard is it to just go to work, do your job, and go home again? This is all I want. Why everyone puts in so much effort towards gossip and shit talking and all the other crap makes me insane. I just wish I could say something to someone and not have it be misconstrued and spread all over. Lord.

I think I have found a place to move. City-wise, anyway. The actual "place to put your crap and sleep" has yet to be procured.

My mother and I have been getting along rather well lately. This quietly scares me.

My roomie from college (Hi!) is coming out for my birthday, and this makes me happy. It's nice to have something to look forward to, for once, instead of dread.

Expect photos. Oh, and my birthday isn't for a few months, so don't get all prematurely fired up.

I have four hours until I start my work week. I think I am going to take a nap.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

New Years was.....

Odd.

Reasonably painless, but really, really strange. An ass grabber, T's parents, a couple celebrating their 36th wedding anniversary, 2 ex-Food and Beverage working yuppies and an opera singer (more on her in a minute) all sitting together.

Twenty two tables total. 52 people. Four servers. (There were supposed to be five.....nevermind.) 60 ridiculous hats, noise makers and confetti hurlers.

Everything went smoothly.

Until the entire restaurant burst into song. Not just any song.

God Bless America.

Thats right. Imagine it. You are a server in a ritzy-ish-at-least-the-management-likes-to-think-so hotel. You are wearing a hat with a seven inch plume sticking out of the top of it. The above mentioned characters (and more!) all all eating, drinking, and talking amongst themselves. Suddenly, Assgrabber yanks the Opera Singer (who looked to be about 80) out of her chair, where she sings God Bless America. Then she requests that everyone else join in. All 37 of them.

And they do.

I had to race from the room to hide in the wait station, tears of silent laughter running down my face.

Maybe you had to be there.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Who needs days off?

Not me, apparently. All I want to do is go to bed and stay there, but work keeps getting in the way.

Don't you hate that?

Copious amounts of sleep........oh, how I covet it. Days filled with doing nothing--or, barring the act of 'nothing', something fun that I want to do. I want to have a day where I can do fun things and not have them marred by work, grocery shopping, general cattiness, etc.

Being a grown up sucks.

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I have to work new years eve and day. Nothing says "Welcome, 2008!" like sweating in the wait station.

I suppose its fitting. How did you spend New Years? The same way I spent Last Year.

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Happy New Year, everyone. I hope its prosperous, joyous, and filled with appropriate blessings. No inappropriate blessings, however--Fuck that!

Stabby Stab

Well, Christmas is over and I am more pleased than anyone would guess.

Grinch, anyone?

As soon as New Years comes and goes, all I have to complain about is Valentines Day (A friend of mine is having her husband served with divorce papers on V-day. I find this to be more hilarious than I probably should. Before you judge--you don't know the husband.)

Anyway.

The only remotely interesting things that happened on Christmas itself were the fact that I ate two full dinners, made dessert for 20 with no eggs (shortbread!), and made T's mother openly sob when I honestly answered her question about my baptism.

I was never baptized. I'm ok with this. I don't plan on being baptized anytime soon, and this made T's very catholic mother sob openly. Mostly due to reasons she vocalized as my never knowing the "light and way of God's love", which I can respect.
Sigh.

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Christmas Eve was as painless as waiting tables on a holiday can be. Need I say more?

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My mother, who seems to not have ever met me before, sent me jewelry she proudly purchased at a pawn shop. It's not the pawn shop, nor the jewelry as a concept that is the problem, but her choice of jewelry itself. Lots of.....feathers.

This is the woman that when I was 18 purchased me Winnie the Pooh everything.

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I went to a large town south of here today to get my nails done and do some shopping, as everything is in sale. As soon as I crossed county lines, it began to snow. Not a big deal.

While I was getting my nails done, my floor captain calls. Wants to know if I can cover a shift for a girl who is stuck at her house due to the snow......in the town I am currently in. I inform her that I, too, am in this town......if the snow is that bad, should I really be the one chosen for the position?

Yes.

So I drove in the worst driving conditions I have seen in this state. It took me over an hour to finish a drive that normally takes 20 minutes.

I arrive. I call work to tell them that I will be there ASAP.

"Oh, don't come in. We took care of it."

Ah, risking life and limb for a "No Thank You" and a plunger.