Sometimes I Believe in God. Kinda.

Today was one of those sometimes.

See, religion is not something that I talk about on the old blogerific very often, due largely to the fact that I typically offend someone, or make people think that I need to be preached to, saved, or otherwise harassed. I really don't want to do any of these things. Really.

If you are a god fearing member of today's society, more power to you. Really. I am actually almost jealous. I was raised in a home where my parents said "Religion is personal. It's up to you--when you decide to go there, we will support you in whatever you choose to do, but it's not our place to decide for you." This is probably one of the only things I agree with and/or respect about how my parents raised me.

I have friends of nearly all faiths. Mormons, Catholics, Pagans, Pentecostals, Jews, Baptists. They accept me for who I am as I do them. I don't know that they agree with my Switzerland-esque take on faith, but we're friends just the same. Who, versus what we are is what matters.

Anyway, with that, I shall explain.

A very good friend of mine was in a car accident today. This person is fine--walked away. Car is totalled--but they are fine.

Seeing where the wreck took place, and how close this person came to potential death shocked me. Scared the holy hell out of me, actually. No one likes to see people they care about get hurt, or even come close.

All I can come up with for explanation as to why this person was safe is luck. And the idea that someone or thing is looking out for them. Guardian Angels, things like that. Maybe.

I am blessed to have this person in my life. I am so thankful that they are safe right now. If it were socially acceptable, I probably would have tried to smother this person with the sheer force of my hugging strength today. (I thought better of it. Granted, we were surrounded by medical professionals, but this person was still a little sore and had just, you know, been in a wreck. Attacking them, even with love, is not the best idea. When they are better I will have to revisit these feelings.)

There have been other times in my life where I felt like maybe there was some 'entity' looking out for me/the people I care about. Like when my dad died--his heart stopped the moment I walked into the hospital room. That was a blessing--but I can't say that dad himself waited, as he was unconscious, or that god waited until I was done smoking to take his life. Luck, coincidence, stuff like that.

So sometimes, mostly when the chips are down, I think that maybe there is something bigger than us that gives a shit. The rest of the time I feel that there is something bigger than us that doesn't give a shit--we are mostly on our own.

All I know for sure, with absolute certainty, is that I love my friends. I love everything about them, the faults, the quirks, the differences. I am a better person for having them around me. I am so lucky to have them in my life, and I want them all to know it. I guess sometimes it takes a scare for us to really acknowledge the things in our lives that we are the most thankful for, to prioritize and all that.

This was a very weird and badly written post. Sorry. Bear with me.