Lists, Product Endorsements, and More General Bitching

Because that's why you're here, anyway, right?

First, the lists. I do this every year, and never adhere to any of the advice I give myself because I forget that I wrote the list. Bear with me.

As usual......

Things that Piss Me Off:

*Bad Tippers. I think everyone should have to work in public service for at least six months in their lives. If that doesn't change the way you eat out, pump gas or talk to the asshat at the Post Office, you're officially a douche wad. If I give you bad service, I understand a bad tip. If I bust my ass for you and your bitchy wife....throw me a bone. We're not in Europe--I get paid minimum wage and work far, far harder than that. You chose the wrong social norm to buck, buddy. Stop wearing pants if you want to play that game. At least then we would all get a laugh.

*Rap Music. I should be paid as much as some of these jackasses--I complain about shit all the time. I will even throw in some death threats and titty references. And I have a sense of rhythm which is obviously a bonus but not required.

*Insomnia. I want to sleep.

*The six pounds I gained in ONE WEEK over Christmas. Fuck. You. I didn't really even eat that much, dicks.


So there's that.

*************************************

Product endorsements! This is a game we play at work a lot. Things I have and love so you should too.

Schokinag Drinking Chocolate: This is probably where my six pounds came from. This is like crack fucking cocaine, people. If you love chocolate, but don't like to be overly sweet--get it. Drink it. Bathe in it--I have considered it. (The Moroccan Spice is the reason I get out of bed, lately.)

My new Ipod Nano: This thing does everything but the damn dishes. Mine is metallic sea-foam green. Love.

The new Daft Punk album: I don't have this yet, actually. But I will be thieving it from my buddy at work and depositing it directly into the aforementioned Ipod. This is the tour I saw them on a few months ago that I believe I likened to seeing God live. It makes me want to throw up Im so in love with it/them. But that's just me being weird.

I kinda blew my proverbial load with the Daft Punk. I'm spent. It's not like I have taste similar to anyone who reads this--you're all just basking in the glow of how odd I truly am.

You're welcome.

******************************

I told my boss today that I was thinking about quitting. She agreed--She too wants the fuck out. This makes me feel slightly better.

I went out to the bar with some of my coworkers last night to do reconnaissance. And it was fruitful.

Oh, and I hate my job and 90% of my coworkers. Hi, all one of you that reads this/knows this exists!

******************************

Well, after feeling like death for most of the day, I feel better. And I'm hungry, which I am going to pointedly ignore. I ate today! You had enough, body! Lord.

Leave me some comments, people! It's like I'm talking to myself these days! (Aside from Brian and Circe, who I have to tell that I too laugh harder than anyone in the room at the RLS medication commercial that may cause uncontrollable sexual and gambling urges. But I have insomnia too.)

Or not.