Bored-Dumb

Oh, TMI Tuesday. (Yes, it's Sunday. I'm BORED.) How I don't want any part of the sex questions. (Again, not appropriate blog fodder. And maybe....Maybe I will bring back that entry. Maybe.)


1. Prudence: When do you feel it is most important to exercise prudence? When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window?

I have a tendency to be overly practical. I really try to look at things from all sides, and use logic. A lot of people tell me this is a good thing, and makes me stand apart from 'the pack', as it were, because I try to take all sides into account, and see what all the outcomes would be with all courses of action. I annoy myself when I do this too much because I over think a lot of shit.

When is it acceptable to throw practicality out the window? Ooph. I have a hard time not being responsible. Like, when we went to Vegas, I spent money that I had in savings. I took that money, knowing that I could spend with without any financial ramifications, but still felt guilty for not saving that money. For not leaving it where it was and having a modest time while we were there.

I suppose everyone needs to cut loose every now and again....but I have a hard time.

2. Justice: Is a sense of justice really a virtue, or is only a tool that allows us to pass judgment on others without feeling guilty? What do you feel is the greatest injustice facing the world today?

I think that justice is a virtue, however, I don't necessarily agree with the way 'justice has been served' in a lot of things. I also don't think that revenge is a good form of justice. The greatest injustice? I can only pick one? Oh lordy. Uhm, well, Hate. Hate of any kind, for any reason. Religious intolerance, sexual, racial, economical--hate. I think that if the world could overcome it's hatred of the unfamiliar, the general ignorance most people hold so dear, everyone would be better off. But I'm not holding my breath.

3. Temperance: All things in moderation. Should we allow ourselves a few excesses? How well do you restrain yourself when faced with your deepest desires?

I think that you should be allowed a few excesses, within reason. I don't think those excesses should negatively impact your family or your life. (i.e., my drunk mother drinking to excess, costing us all tons and tons of things, like money, respect and love.) But like I said before, everyone should be allowed to cut loose now and again. How do I restrain myself? I really have a hard time when it comes to food. I really, really, really love me some food. The rest of them....(aside from smoking) aren't that hard.

4. Courage/Fortitude: How well do you confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation? Does facing the little things make you as brave as facing the big things?

I have had a life filled with these things. People tell me I am strong and brave, but I don't really believe them. I just accept these things as the only option and plow forward. And stress my face off. I think that (depending on the thing) big and small things are all a matter of perception. It's how you handle it that counts.

5. Faith: Is it important to have faith? How steadfast are you in your core beliefs? Do your core beliefs equate to faith in something?

I think it's important to have faith....but not necessarily "Faith", like religion. I think you should have faith in yourself, in what's important to you. That has nothing to do with "God" as a concept. I am ridiculously steadfast in my core beliefs--like, oh, treat everyone equally regardless. My core beliefs don't really equate to faith in anything, being that I am not a religious person in any stretch of the word, but I suppose that's something that is different from person to person.

6. Hope: Does having hope for the future help you deal with the present? How good are you at finding the good in the bad? What is the thing you hope for most?

I lost all hope a long, long time ago. I don't hope for anything, really. I mean, not in everyday life. I'm more of a worst case scenario person. Plan for that and then you're pleasantly surprised all the time. I don't ever really see the good in the bad until everything is over with. What do I hope for the most? I hope that I have a great wedding. That my life will be stable and happy. That my future children will be healthy. That T is safe and healthy at all times.

7. Love/Charity: How easy is it for you to give selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness? How easy is it for you to receive selfless, unconditional, and voluntary loving-kindness?

Very easy for me to give. Very hard for me to accept. If I love you, I love you. That's the end of it. If you love me, I typically thing you are deluding yourself. T still manages to love the dickens out of me, though, even if I think he's crazy and I'm just really, really blessed. (But that's more self hatred than anything else.)

Gym

First off:

I could survive for 1 minute, 13 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds Pedia

Now, I'm sure you will all feel better knowing that.

Hopefully that doesn't come to pass, as I don't know that being chained to a bed and a velociraptor is something I would like to do. Ever.

Went to the gym again today.

I hate to have people look at me while I am exercising. I am not pretty. I am sweaty, my hair is all fucked up, my face gets really red. Not good. Mostly, I feel like they are staring at my jiggling behind, and I really hate that.

So today, I went to the very very back of the gym, so that no one but the wall could see my heinie, and hopped aboard le treadmill.

There was a weight bench directly in front of me.

A tottering old man wandered over, sat on the bench, and watched me.

For about 10 minutes.

Not wanting to assume that he was lechereous, I didn't say anything. Maybe he was resting, maybe he was having a heart attack.

But he stared. Directly. At. Me. The whole time.

I turned up my iPod and looked at my feet.

A personal trainer person man, (that's his title, I'm sure) saw what was happening as the GYM WAS ESSENTIALLY EMPTY, and came over and got on the treadmill right next to me. (I assume that treadmill rules are similar to rules at the urinal, right? You're not supposed to sidle up right next to someone if given the option not to, right? I don't use urinals, I just hear about it.)

The old man left.

Sigh.

Pointless

I just wrote an entire blog entry and deleted it.

It's not appropriate blog fodder.

Gmail has a thing now to keep you from sending emails when you're drunk--Blogger should make something to keep you from typing blogs when you are pissed/irritated/hurt/emotionally bereft/not yourself in some way.

Just saying, is all.

(I'm fine. Just irritated. So what else is new, right?)

Kinda irks me--it was a damn good entry. :)

Fave Friday

The kids at Blogtoberfest (read: Another blogger who is obeying the rules as well as paying attention) inform me that is Blogtoberfest Fave Friday.

Which makes my job easier, because I am really, really tired.

See, the last time I looked at the clock before slumber, it was 4:48am. The alarm went off at 5:30am.

That's not a lot of sleep. Is there anything greater than listening to your significant other breathe, peacefully off in the land of Nod, while you stare at the ceiling and culture up more and more hate for, well, everything? I can't think of anything I like better than that. (That's what I keep telling myself, anyway, since I do it so often.)

So I'm tired, tired, tired. Went shopping (hooray for Ross and TJ*Maxxx) and then went and saw a really terrible movie (Quarantine. Really? Really.), joined a gym (Lord save us all) and drug myself around under the power of only caffeine.

So let's do our faves.

Favorite Color: Purple, mostly.
Favorite Song: This is a tough one. Right at the moment, Digital Love by Daft Punk.
Favorite Book: American Gods by Neil Gaiman

I can't think of any more. I'm off to have more coffee. Yes, it's 5:30 at night. But I have to be up in 11.5 hours because we joined the freaking gym and I have a panic attack if I think people are looking at me while I'm exercising, so we have to go before anyone gets there.

Up to the Minute Posting!

So I'm coming in just before midnight, so it counts!

And here is what is happening, like, right this moment (or at least less than 5 minutes ago....) here at le Condo.

I'm sitting in the computer chair/not helping T......Spoiled princess that I am.





Like my snowflake sheets?

Well, we're off to bed. Slept until 1 pm today (it was no less gray and dreary outside at 1pm than at 9am, which was the undoing of my circadian rhythms. Undoing, I tell you. Slept way, way too much) but have to be out of the house no later than 6:30am tomorrow....Yeah. Sleep happens now.

Good night! (And happy 3am/you'll be up in two hours or so, Brian. Enjoy the East Coast.)

Must. Keep.Blogging.

So, I am totally going to fail Blogtoberfest. I'm heading to a writers conference in Canada (America's Hat! So hilarious. But I love Canada, actually.) next week, so unless I 1)Take the dust-farting laptop 2)Use free wi-fi that may or may not exsist in the hotel we are staying in 3)Have any time or inclination to write blogs on said farting laptop with said hypothetical free wi-fi, there will not be any blogging.

I am terrified of this writers conference. Also, excited beyond repair, but that's mostly cloaked in 'the fear', which is a term I usually use in reference to the smoking of the pot.

See, in a freakish, kismet turn of events, I have been invited to attend this conference by T's beautiful sister, A, to whom these conferences are old hat. She knows her shit when it comes to writing, has years of 'real' writing (as opposed to 'fake' writing, which is what I think I do....Don't ask.) expirence. This will be my first conference, like, since I was a child. I have no real writing to take with me (but have begged off speaking with editors/agents/publishers, so that's not soooo terrible) so I have been outlining and reading and swearing and bellowing things about dialouge and grammar and plot to T, which I think confuses and scares him more than he likes to admit. (Nothing like quietly doing a crossword puzzle in front of the fireplace, enjoying your cocoa, when your wife to be comes howling out of the bedroom demanding your justification of past and present participles in a context you cannot understand, then tears up a little and stomps back into the bedroom.)

I love that I am expressing my fear of my writing forever sucking with a huge run-on sentance with grammar problems. Love that.

(I just bang out blog entries and publish them. I am not one of the elite {not that that is a bad thing} bloggers who types everything in a Word document over the course of several days, edits, spell checks and so on. I just barf words out and let fly. Which is not the case {and therefore the problem} with my 'real/fake' writing.)

Anyway.

My mommy sent me a package today, which contained knitting patterns, recipes, and a leaflet on 'Safe Holiday Cooking', which reminds me of such gems as "Wash your hands before cooking", "Use a meat thermometer", and my favorite, "Don't partially cook the turkey".

Bless her heart. Seriously, my mom has like, no money at all, and it's a big deal for her to be able to send me stuff. So when she does, she feels like she needs to pad the order a little. She seems to forget that I have worked in professional kitchens a time or two. But the thought was there, and that's what matters.

She also knitted me a hat, which is made of really pretty yarn, and sent me a skein that matches so I can make one for T (no.) or make myself a scarf to match.

I have a huge head. And thick hair. So my mom, when knitting for my giant bean, always makes something akin to a grocery sack in size. She crocheted me a hat several years ago that I used as a basket because it was 1)very firm and 2)Huge.

This hat is really big, but it fits ok. And it's pretty. T says it's cute, and it sure beats my other hat (which has earflaps!) so why not. I'm not really out to impress the world.

See?

What?

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The sad thing is, that's a low score. I scored lower than 90% of the other websites who submitted.

Damn.