The Drama!

Big weird insanity going on over on the online knitting group.

Like, totally weird. Involved, hard to explain, I'm a victim of my own curiosity and therefore cannot blame my offense on anyone but myself.

I'm a member of an online knitting forum. It's like MySpace for knitters and crocheters. Inside this forum there are groups--Tons and tons of them. You can join any group that you like at any time--and leave as well, at your own discretion. Each group has moderators, which are put in place to make sure that all members of any particular group adhere to group and forum guidelines.

Well.

One group didn't follow the rules. Didn't do what they were supposed to, the moderators really didn't moderate anything. The 4 site creators had to get involved, and decided that the best course of action was to close the group.

And the shit--it hit the fan.

Why?

Because this group is for....Conservative Fundamentalist Christians. They are yelling discrimination, calling for all liberal groups to be closed, preparing petitions, and generally having their panties in a bunch.

But see, I can understand them being upset.....to a point.

They are not in trouble for being conservative, for being christian, or for adhering to a fundamentalist view of their faith. They are in trouble because they stirred up a lot of shit on other sites. They flagged posts all over the site as a whole, causing trouble for the 4 big mods, and when those moderators in turn asked the group moderators to keep their group in check, they failed to do so.

So they got closed down.

Any other group that behaved similarly would have been closed down, regardless of the subject matter. The knitting group from Scranton gets out of hand? Closed. The knitters-who-love-manatees group goes on a rampage and the mods won't do anything? Closed.

Of course, rather than say "Hey, you know, we should listen to the site moderators and say 'ok, we understand, but we don't agree'", they're saying things like: (all grammatical and spelling errors have been left as is. Only changes I have made have been to protect the identity of the site or the members spoken of.)(Yes, I too am afraid of people finding my blog and getting in trouble.)

"...Discrimination. Loud and clear. Where do I get my armband? Oh, yea, and which hand are they going to tattoo that number on?"

"...Oh, yea, and which hand are they going to tattoo that number on? Ironically the RIGHT…."

"...I have stayed away from the liberal boards because they are so hateful and nothing positive could come from any discussion with them."

(In response to a site moderator explanation as to group disbandment)

"This is honestly a back door tactic to deal with the complaints you get. You know we deal with complaints when they come up… and yes, we have discussed things with you at at times. Such as why it’s okay for someone to post that Pres Bush should be hanged on one of the main six [main six boards that everyone is a member of, like it or not], but we can’t discuss inaugural scarf patterns [this was the last bit of drama--this group sent anything from death threats to scathing notes to a woman who wrote a pattern, which was then published, which said something very.....unflattering about Sarah Palin] without it being considered a terrorist threat.

I imagine that we just haven’t been diligent enough as a group to troll all the other boards flagging posts and whining about them. It appears that the squeaky wheel gets the oil. But don’t worry, that’s not my style. I’m not so bored and pathetic that I’m going to wander around looking for ways to silence people I disagree with and harp on you all the time.

But I’d like to give you a big ol’ thanks for the shout out for the criticism of what lousy mods we are. That’s really nice.

If anyone has flagged a post on an opposing forum and has received one of those nasty messages from one of their ultra-classy mods, I suggest you forward it to [site builder and moderator] so he can see what’s really going on. Or if you have somebody sending you nasty messages then stalking you… disagreeing with you… friending you… faving your projects… then sending you scathing messages when you reply… send those along too. Apparently, we’ve been to silent in taking the abuse we’ve received."

"It is evident now more than ever, that the Conservative voice must be heard. We must not let the “Left” take control of every aspect of our lives. This is Communism and we must fight back."

It is more than pathetic that we cannot even conduct our own discussions without the Leftist watchdogs tattling. Will the Gestapo be at our doors next?"

"Ugly people often say ugly things. They cannot help themselves. If they think this will stop us in our march towards doing what is right for the country we will not be shut up so easily. Hey I will have extra time to email congress reps and senators and the white house."

"I really, really, really regret having spent any money in the online store. This website is just a sandbox for liberal alley cats to compete at shitting in."

"I’m not surprised that it’s come to this. The Nazi-in-chief and his oligarchical minded brownshirts have managed to spit in the faces of our Founders and defile the Constitution in three weeks. The weak-minded can’t bear to hear any opposition to the Nazi-in-chief. This is just a taste of things to come – “conform or be cast out.""

Am I wrong to be offended by this? I mean, seriously. You cannot cry 'freedom of speech' when you flagrantly break the rules. You can't cry 'discrimination' because you pissed off a lot of people, forced an 'us vs. them' mentality on your corner of the site, and ignored site rules when you were told that this behavior was unacceptable. No, the other 'nasty' groups didn't get disbanded.....because they adhere to site guidelines and rules.

Sorry. Your inability to read and comprehend the letters, messages and postings of the site mods explaining the reasons behind your disbandment has nothing to do with reality.

(Circe, I think you're rubbing off on me with the board rage....)

The Night Time is the Right Time

I'm a zombie.

A zombie who bakes.

A quick run-down of every shift, shall we?

8pm: Arrive.

8-2am: Fight the goddamn pastry sheeter, laminating dough with butter. (Danish dough first, then croissant dough.)

2am-4am: Cut, fill and shape pastry/croissants, place in proofing box, proof.

4am-OHCHRISTIT'SALMOST6: Fill, bake, glaze and ice pastry, cool, wrap for delivery. Load my tiny car to the brim, go peeling out off to the cafe.

6:15-6:30am: Drive to cafe, swear at totes of pastry cascading around the back of my car. Haul pastry totes into cafe while morning girls watch.

7am: Go home, remove clothing, trailing Pig Pen like cloud of flour all the way to the shower.

7-7:30am: Stand in shower and make paste with all the flour on my body. Scrub, begin to feel the physical exertion of the evening.

7:30am-till some asshole calls: Sleep.

Then I dick around for a few hours, and nap till about 7pm.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Friday-Monday, people! I am SORE. My body no likey the lifty of the heavy.

I am totally panicked about having to do all this alone. I am not ready. I admitted as much to my boss last night, and he said, "It's ok. I'll train you until you're ready. I can tell you're the right person for this job."

It made me feel good, until the back pain started. (Leaning over a table rolling croissants=back evil.)

I'm off to taste wedding cake. (Just what I want to do--more pastry.)

Sleep....

Can I mention how much 'fun' it is to totally re-do your sleep schedule? I have 2 days (one, now) to switch myself from getting up at 9am and going to bed between 11-2 to.....well, the opposite of that. Most nights I'm going to be getting done with work at 6-7am....It's great. I mean, really. Jet lag at home rocks.

So what have I been doing this long night, waiting to go pick up T?

Watching videos on the internet and alternately laughing and/or crying.

Such as:



"If more people had a duck...." Love it.



Baby kitten tummies get me every time.

Anyway.....it's been this and bad infomercials all night. Hooray.

Heavy Lifting

So last night was my first night at the bakery. I got the call at 4pm that I needed to be there at 8pm. I went home in the wee hours of the morning.

I'm working with two dudes. I can dig it. I'm not sure if they can...it was sort of hilarious.

It would seem that 12 people have started in my position, and all of them have quit after one day. They were very concerned that I wouldn't be coming back--lots of "If you want to come back on Friday...." "If, after that, you still want to work here..."

Uhm....I'm good. I can lift 75 pounds of dough. I can fight with the goddamn pastry sheeter. (PAIN IN THE ASS!) For all of you that don't know what a pastry sheeter is, it's like a giant pasta machine, only rather than rolling pasta it rolls pastry. It's huge, it's noisy, this specific one breaks on a regular basis. (6 times while I was there.) I can measure, I can cut, I can mix, I can do origami, I can freeze and proof and fill and bake. It's fine.

The manager person told me that it's obvious that I have baking talent, that it shows that I am not clueless, and that this is a good thing.

So I go back on Friday. Hopefully I get more sleep.

When I got home this morning, I had flour all over my body. My face, my hair, my skin, my clothes...I dusted about 1/4 cup out of my bra when I got in the shower.

My car, which has black upholstery, has a white butt-print in it.

Anyway.....it's ok. I think it will be fine after I get my sleep schedule readjusted.

Fruition

So...

You know how I keep talking about going to school, to finally see through my vision and long term goal of becoming a pastry chef?

You know how there is a much better (in all ways) option than culinary arts school, but that I felt like my chances of attaining that option were slim to less than none?

I, well, I kinda sorta did it.

I got a pastry apprenticeship. I start ASAP.

I'm terrified, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I'm thrilled to no end. Mostly I'm scared that I'll fuck it up somehow, and my life's dream will be dashed and I will forever have no one but myself to blame.

Love

I've been thinking a lot lately about weddings, and love.

Not just because I'm getting married and Valentines day is right around the corner, bullshit holiday that it is.

No, I've been thinking about Prop. 8. About how religion hates them the gay for the most part.

About how the Catholics have made me feel like a complete piece of shit for not being one of 'them' during my pre-wedding stuff with T, but that they are still willing to grit their teeth and marry us...because I am a woman and T is a man.

I cannot imagine the pain, the rage I would feel if someone, any one--especially a government told me that I could not be granted marriage to T. Just feeling unaccepted, frowned upon and generally not approved of by T's church has been painful enough, but to be told that our love was unnatural, unworthy, illegal? I simply cannot imagine.

Everyone reading this--imagine it. Take your spouse, your lover, and the feelings you have for them and think about what it would be like to be told that those feelings were wrong, illegal, and immoral. To be told that your government would throw up road blocks and red tape in every way possible to keep your love hidden.

Love, between consenting adults, cannot be wrong. Hearts don't lie. Families are made, partners are found.

Love is the only holy thing I need in my life. To strip someone of that ability to love and be loved is a crime.



The first same-sex couple that was married in San Fransisco were two women named Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. They had been together for almost 60 years when they wed. Think about that! 60 YEARS.

Del passed away shortly after her marriage--but she died a wife. She died before Ken Starr and the state of California decided that those 60 years didn't count. Which very well may have been a blessing, as sad and horrible a thing that is to say.

I can only hope that T and I will be together, as in love as we are today, in 60 years. That all of us who are married, will be married, will be that happy and in love. Mrs. Martin and Lyon should be an inspiration to everyone with love in their hearts.

Twilight

Today was my first 'day' at my new job.

......Yeah.

The cafe/bakery/whatever I will be working in here isn't open yet, so I have to travel an hour each way to be trained at the location that is open in a town south of here.

This means, in reality, that I am commuting 2 hours total to be trained to work in a restaurant that I won't be working in. If that makes sense. Nothing will be in the same places, there's different storage methods, different menu items.

Doesn't make a ton of sense to me, but whatever.

So I got up this morning at the CRACK, and had T drive me down to work (T got off of work when I woke up, so rather than sleep he drove me because he likes my being alive and my night blindness makes death a real possibility)where I walked in and realized several things:

1)My boss has no sense of humor.
2)My boss isn't a really nice person.
3)My boss thinks I'm a moron, and apparently didn't read my resume when she hired me.
4)#3 is possible because the other employees (whom I have met, there are plenty I have not) are very young, very immature and very....less than smart.

After my boss 'trained' me my saying things like 'This is a cold case! It keeps things cold! This is a coffee maker! It makes coffee!' and then said I smelled and had me sign a personality quiz that basically held me to my word about being a nice person, she left me with a nice girl who has worked her way up to the coveted position of weekday opener.

This girl just turned 21, loves the Twilight series, her boyfriend, and, apparently, text messaging.

She also found out that I will be 27 next month and said, "All the girls from the new store are old! Like, one is almost 30!"

Sigh.

Then her friend/coworker showed up and the two of them stood there and texted and laughed and didn't do anything while I did everything, which, while a good way to be trained, wasn't my favorite. Then I was informed that I would not be receiving tips for my work that day, drank a cup of coffee and lamented the fact that I CANNOT SMOKE while working.

Finally, when my shift was over, T picked me up and I came home and took an amazing and super intense nap.

I'm not feeling worse about the job....but not any better, either.