Interesting moments in time

I am learning things about myself daily. Even if these things dont immediatly seem to be something that would cause me to learn anything, through turns of chance, they suddenly impact my life in ways I neither expect nor plan for.

For instance.

I have been making a marked attempt to comsume more fiber in my diet. Its good for you, "makes your insides beautiful" (at least, thats what metimucil tells me via the TV), helps you lose weight and can maintain a healthy heart. Ok, Im game. Fiber it is. Kashi whole grain hot cereal for breakfast, check. Sprouted whole grain flax bread at lunch, check. Spinach, broccoli, raw or lightly steamed vegetables at dinner, check.

Im losing weight, my skin is better. Good things.

What they dont tell you, however, is that in the process of "making your insides beautiful", well, all the stuff that was clogging you up and making you NOT beautiful, it doesnt just dissappear. No, the nondairy creamer, diet soda, oreo cookies and cheeseburgers, they dont become fairy dust. The fiber gets in there, and like a wire brush to a barbecue screen, scrubs and scrapes. And instead of black dust, you get....A new hobby.

All I can say is--should you decide to add more fiber to your diet (which is really a good thing), make sure you have a good book and are allowed breaks at your job. Just saying.

TMI, I know.

I have also learned that patience truly is a virtue, and I am the least virtuous person I know. I am addicted to shopping online, as I dont have to leave the house and can sit in my stinky pjs with my Ipod jamming away and have thoughtful gifts purchased and zipping towards me at any given moment--but it takes time. It takes more time than I want it to. I ordered some of this earlier this week, and its not here yet. Things I ordered with it are here! But I ordered them for other people! I want this one NOW! NOW! sigh.

Also--A note on better planning. (F, youre going to laugh at this one, as its about you!) When you decide to send letters to friends and family of your best friend about her wedding and all things therein, and include on said letter your phone number, with instructions to "call if you have questions or concerns"--its good to have thought enough to the future to be able to answer any questions or concerns these very kind, loving and good humored people may pose. I truly enjoy talking to these people, and look forward to meeting them, but so far I have made my self out to be rather dim, I think. (I should have said "feel free to call and listen to me say "I have no idea." and then stammer for 5 minutes to think of a decent answer but just make myself look like an assclown in the meantime.{I suppose Im giving them a taste of what they are in for at the actual wedding and meet me in the flesh, no?}) I can't ask F to answer these questions for me, as that would spoil the whole damn thing. Perhaps I will leave the book out next time I have a fiber attack--then everyone is happy.

Also--

This planet is smaller than you think it is. This must be true, as I was at work (in a rather small town) and met some people who not only are from Bigsky, but work with some people in TinyCrackHole, (TCH) where I used to live. You can run, but you can't hide. And, true to TCH fame, I gave these people SUPERIOR service--I booked them a hotel room at a lower rate than they should have paid, allowed them to call long distance (no small feat where I work), refilled drink after drink, allowed substitutions and so on, they sat there for 4 hours....and....I was so sure it was going to be a big tip, really--it was a $100 ticket--I knew it, I could just feel it, they gushed and gushed and were so kind, we know the same people!

They tipped $10. I got the dreaded VERBAL TIP! I wanted to chase after them and scream "YOU FORGOT SOMETHING!" while waving the two five dollar bills like a lost coat or wayward mitten.

Shit like that--makes me wonder what the hell the point is. Why be nice to people?

Oh well.

Pastry is my dream. I fucking love it. Its the best thing thats happened to me since my move here or the reconnection with T. J (the woman under whom I am learning) is the bestest. Not even a word for my adoration for her. (apparently, a lot of people dont like her. I dont care-- I love her and we are similar in that aspect, then. Allow us our clique at the back of the kitchen!)

Very excited about it. I volunteered to work 14 hours in a day so i could spend time in the kitchen this week. I even did things alone! (granted, I demanded that J hold my hand, but you get the idea) Creme Anglaise and ganache. (I have done these at home before, but not in GALLONS.) D, our-soon-to-be-departed boss, came in and warned J of my AR tendancies (I can be something of a fretting perfectionist when it comes to my job/cooking, anyone who has seen me do either knows this--so pastry as a job is about one step down from compulsive hand washing for me), and, what do you know, we move on to brioche and I am spending 5 minutes per loaf, attempting to make it perfectly symmetrical and have invisible seams....J laughed, laughed, laughed and then made me chant 'Stop worrying. There are no bread police. Stop worrying. Breathe.' Folled closely by ".....M. M. Are you hyperventilating?".

I didnt stop worrying, but allowed her to put the asymmetrical-visibly-seamed loaves up to proof.

I havent spoken to my mom in two weeks.

I am unsure as to how I feel about this. Still.