Confused, more than anything

I have lovely things to post, actually.

But first....

I am deeply troubled by a few things going on in my life. (duh.) I really do need to learn to let things go--not dwell on them, or allow them to affect me as much as I do. Several things.

None of the people that are involved with this read this blog, or even know it exsists. Its work bullshit, basically. I just often wonder why someone would lie to my face--Lie when the truth would serve them better, lie when they know (Im assuming) that I know the truth and that they will be/are caught in this lie. Why? Are they embarrassed? Afraid to admit that perhaps their lives are not as picture perfect as they would like to pretend? I dont like being drug into shit like that. I hate being drug into drama that really has nothing to do with me--Even if I am close with the people who are inspiring the drama. But when that drama fucks with the livlihood of people I care about....Do you call them on the lie? Do you tell the person that is being lied about? Or wait, and see if that lie comes to fruition--if the perpetrator of the lie takes it to the next level to cover their own ass?

I dont know. Being put in a situation where I am made to feel guilty, and then lied to/about and used for information to cover the asses of people....well, I dont like it.

No one that reads this (both of you, haha) knows what the hell I am talking about. And thats alright. I just need to get this out, I guess. I just wish the world could be honest with one another. Thats really all I ask of those around me--Be honest with me. Really. Is it that hard? Am I asking too much?

I will not blame myself for this. It has nothing to do with me.

I can type much faster than I thought I could. Thats something.

I made lots of money this week. I also worked a hell of a lot more than i normally do--but we were busy as well. Heres a story for you.

There are concerts going on in this neck of the woods all weekend, which causes us to be slammed. People want to eat before they go--and you better know it. Sigh. Anyway, this woman calls, who always wants the same goddamn table (as if it belongs to her--I think I may have mentioned her before--Its rather annoying) but when she called, not only did she want that table, she wanted a specific server. This is normally not a problem. However, the server she wanted was not in that day. Fine. I inform her that the table she wants is in my section, and that I will therefore be her server this evening, unless she would like to be moved to another table.

Insert long pause here. The kind of long pause that can mean only one thing. Upperclass retiree not getting exactly what they want when they want it.

'But...I want that table," she tells me.

'That's fine, ma'am. Then I will be your server this evening. See you at six!'

The time rolls around. They arrive. They are seated. They are an elderly couple (duh!), the husband is of the sort that is totally deaf and can hear only the sound of his wife's voice. I introduce myself.

'Are you the girl I spoke with on the phone?', she asks.

'Yes, ma'am.'

'Oh.'

I took this as a sign. I then informed her that she could have another server if she so chose, and she declined. Her husband missed all of this.

'That other girl!What about her! She's down there! Go get her!', he announces.

'WILLIAM! This girl will be just fine....' I hear this as Im walking away.

I soon learned why they like the specific servers that they do.

They are strange.

They brought their own beverages. Normally, this is not allowed. But these beverages were....Water. No straw, no ice, just a glass, please. I asked no questions.

Apparently (as these people need to explain themselves) All water in the US is being treated with either the growth hormone they use for cattle, or a chemical pesticide that (get this!) warps your DNA and can cause cancer, blindness, kidney failure or homosexuality.

'Beg pardon?', I asked when I heard this.

'Oh, yes! My dear girl! You absolutly mustn't drink any water that doesn't come out of a bottle! The government of foreign nations is poisioning us from within--our water resources are slowly destroying us! If you drink it, you can go blind! But before that happens, you will give bith to children with horrible disfiguring defects.....Or are...Homosexuals.'

She's wearing dark glasses. Her lipstick is on her teeth and smeared. Her blouse is buttoned incorrectly. I wonder how much water she drank when she was a child.

'Well, I certainly appreciate the heads up, ma'am.'. I walk back to the wait station, mouth slightly agape. We're too busy to mention this to my coworkers.

They were very nice, other than that. Tipped well, too.

Odd.

I spend the day alternatly baking and feeling like crap. I dont know what's wrong with me, but LORD do I feel shitty all the time. I can't seem to get enough rest. E thinks its my bed, but who the hell knows. Working 12 hour days and running my ass off the whole time may have something to do with it.

F, all this baking is for your thingie tomorrow. I really, really, really hope you like it--If you don't, Im going to freak out. Not anger freak out, but sobbing silently in the car freak out. I'm not sure if thats better. I havent ever made any of the recipes before, and I had to get new pans and things for it. I really really hope you like it! (If nothing else, you will know just how much I love you, yes?)

Anyway, Im off to bed.