My Life as a Non-Smoker, Day One:

Didn't happen today. I smoked.

ONE CIGARETTE! As much as I want to scream "I failed!" And smoke and smoke and smoke and smoke and smoke and start all over tomorrow.....I am not. Granted, were I alone, Im sure thats what would be happening, but Thomas is here, and Jen was here earlier, so that is that.

But fuck, do I want another cigarette. I did really well, no smoking this morning, none at work, but when I was done with work I came home and just attacked Thomas. I lasted a few more hours before actually caving and smoking. Which made me high. And then I slept on the couch and it was glorious.

How was everyone's New Year's? I "Clopened"--worked open to close last night (12 hours! No sitting! Not once! Came home, drank a glass of wine, took a shower, and went to bed! CLANG! HAPPY NEW YEAR!) and then got up and opened again today.

Without smoking. Until I had been home for an hour.

Anyway, I'm bereft due to nicotine withdrawl, and so I will cut this short. FuckASS I want a cigarette. Not even a whole one, like, 2 drags. that would be great.....